Lost and Found
by Seigi-san
Summary: Second rewrite and hopefully third time lucky. If Mwu really had left at Alaska, would he and Murrue still have been together? MXM obviously semi AU, rated T for smuts.
1. Chapter 1

( Rewrite time :D this is the third time I've tried this, and hopefully it'll turn out better this time. We will see lol. Plz enjoy! )

* * *

The port at Kaoshiung was crowded. Ships from almost every country affiliated with the Alliance were docked here, and as a result the place was a hive of activity. People ran around shouting orders to each other, traders outside the exclusion zone shouted their wares, and women in various states of undress plied their own kind of trade to lonely soldiers. It was noisy, colourful, and kind of fun, and most of his subordinates couldn't wait to get out there for a taste of it. While it did look enjoyable - he was quite lonely - what he had in mind was something different. Forgetting his paperwork for a time he went up on deck, smiling at the feel of the warm wind through his by now rather long blonde hair, and looked out to sea. Where he wanted to go...

_The place I remember her being happy. _It wasn't a typical place Alliance soldiers wanted to visit even if they were allowed, nor was his a typical reason for wanting to go. It was silly and sentimental, but something he felt he had to do. He'd been all around the world with the _Albion_ since leaving California with his team of junior pilots, and this was the closest he'd ever gotten to Orb, so he had to try. _No-one would understand if I told them why - maybe some would come close, but I doubt they'd really get it. I need closure. I have to say goodbye... _Along his travels he'd picked up little trinkets and keepsakes, a bracelet here, a patterned tin there, all decorated with her flower...with roses. He remembered the locket she'd worn, the silver coffin-shaped one he'd caught sight of now and again, and remembered the floral scent that had always followed her, so well that every time he smelled it he was reminded of her. These little gifts he'd picked up...he wanted to leave them in a place she'd liked, where she'd been happy, and that was Orb. So he'd take a few days of the several months worth of shoreleave he'd earned, leave his rank behind for a time, and visit a country that still remembered peace.

And to his delight, it was almost exactly as it had been. Like in Kaoshiung there were people everywhere, laughing and joking, but the atmosphere was markedly different. Everyone seemed happier, more relaxed, and he found himself grinning like a kid. _It's weird. The war must have found this place, but there's no sign of it anywhere. It's so laid-back... _There had been some concessions...his military ID and service weapon had been confiscated at the airport, so he was simply like any other tourist for the duration of his stay. Well, mostly, anyway. Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans (wearing civilian clothes was a relief) he wandered down the wide promenade whistling softly to himself. He still needed to find a place to stay, but for the moment he could just enjoy his new surroundings and memories of a happier time.

_"So, this is where you've been hiding.."_

_She jumped slightly, then turned to face him with that gently scolding expression, dark eyes narrowed playfully. "How long have you been standing there?"_

_"Long enough. Sorry for disturbing you."_

_"You didn't. I was just thinking, that's all.." She looked back out to sea, the light breeze threading through auburn hair, and so didn't notice his smile. He'd grown fond of her in the time he'd been on the ship, fonder than he'd expected or imagined. Not just for her beauty, but for her kindness and strength...she was a remarkable woman. "I wish we could stay here.."_

_He moved to stand beside her, gazing out at the distant horizon. "What would you do if we could?"_

_She thought for a time, then smiled. "I don't know. But I'd like to find out."_

_"So would I." A place the war hadn't found, untouched by sadness or fear...to live somewhere like this would be wonderful. Especially if it was with her._

He smiled a little, leaning back on the bench he sat on to look up at the fading light. After he'd gotten to California he'd searched for news of _Archangel_...and had been shocked and upset to learn of it's fate. He'd mourned the loss of his friends, but most of all the loss of his captain. A waste of talent, a waste of a kind and gentle soul...one he'd realised too late he loved. Coming to terms with her loss had been difficult, but the collecting of the gifts had helped. Every port they'd stopped at he'd picked up something he thought she'd have liked, always intending to leave them on that clifftop where she'd expressed her wish to stay. That way, she could stay there forever.

Getting to his feet he walked for a time, through city streets and precincts dotted with people beginning nights out, with no real direction in mind, but he did grin when he reached a familiar landmark. Tall and glittering in the setting sun, the Morgenroete complex looked much as it had the last time he'd seen it. He remembered the people there, the excitable Astray pilots, the technicians, and...

"What are _you_ doing here?"

Surprised, he whirled around to see the facility's director...what had her name been? Simmons? She was staring at him with an expression of almost comical shock, aqua eyes wide. As he stared back, she sighed and shook her head. "I almost didn't recognise you. Not that I was expecting to see you at all.."

He quirked a smile. "Is it bad that I'm here?"

"Well, no, but...aren't you still with the Alliance?"

He nodded. "I have shore leave. I wanted to come here because, well..." He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling faintly stupid. "It's complicated."

The Director smiled. "I don't doubt it. Have you been to the beach yet?"

"Not yet.."

"Well, go take a look. You might find it interesting." With that enigmatic comment she got into the blue car and started it up, driving away with a grin. Baffled, he did as she'd said, walking slowly down the promenade's steps to the fine white sand below. It was certainly beautiful, the sunset turning everything orange and pink and turning the sea to liquid fire, but at first he couldn't see what would interest him about it. He'd seen plenty of sunsets from plenty of beauty spots...this was no different. With a soft sigh he wandered along the beach, boots kicking up little scuffs of sand, then stopped, noticing someone sitting on the sand a short distance away.

It was a girl. She was in a uniform much like the Director had been wearing, the red jacket and green trousers, so it was clear she worked there. She was sitting with her knees to her chest, face hidden by her knees and wisps of brown hair, and as he watched she leaned back, tipping her face up to the last rays of the sun. And he stared.

_There...but there's no way. There's no way she could be here. The reports said the ship was lost with all hands in Alaska... I... _He must have made some sort of sound because she looked up at him. Those marigold eyes, the ones that had haunted his dreams for the last eighteen months, widened as she recognised him, and she scrambled to her feet. "You..." As he gazed at her, to his immense delight her cheeks flushed pink and she glanced down at the sand before a shy little smile curved her lips. Grinning like an idiot he shook his head, running up to her and, to her obvious surprise, wrapped her up in a hug.

"How can you be here?" he murmured, breathing in the scent from her hair. She didn't answer, but a moment later he felt her return the embrace. Holding her like this, knowing she was real and that she was right there with him, he realised just how much he'd missed her. "I'm sorry.."

"For what?"

"I just am." He was sorry for a lot of things, but most of all for leaving at Alaska. If he'd stayed, what might have happened between them? Pulling away slightly he gazed down at her, smile one of sheer affection and happiness. "I'm so glad you're all right.." Catching her around the waist he lifted her into the air to swing her around, enjoying her laughter.

"I wasn't expecting to see you," she admitted quietly once he'd set her down. Clearly embarrassed she brushed a hand through clipped-up auburn hair, though the little smile still twitched there at the corners of her mouth. "How...how have you been?"

"Me? Ah, you know me. Indestructible. I've been fine." She grinned, the expression lighting up her whole face.

"I'm glad. How come you're here?" Her brows knitted in a slight frown, bright smile fading slightly. "Are you...still with the Alliance?"

"Officially, yes. But right now I'm just me."

"I see.."

Not liking to see her smile disappear he brought her close again, sitting down on the beach with her. "It's okay, I haven't come to take you back with me or anything..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I just...I missed you."

"I missed you too.."

"Really?"

She nodded, blushing again. He sighed, shaking his head before tugging her closer. "We've been idiots then, haven't we?"

"Probably." Closing her eyes she settled against him, seemingly quite content. As for him...he didn't remember ever having been happier. How she'd gotten here, why she was here...none of it mattered, only the fact that she _was_ here. She murmured and shifted a little closer. "How long will you be here?"

"Not sure. I meant to come for just a few days, but I might stay longer now.."

"I'd like that."

"Would you?"

"Of course I would."

He grinned and kissed the crown of her hair. If she wanted him to stay, then he'd stay. They didn't have to be soldiers, didn't have to be captain and second-in-command...they could be themselves. He'd always wanted to see her as a civilian, free from the burdens and responsibilities the role of captain had brought, and so far he very much liked what he saw. The weight was gone from her shoulders, pale skin showing colour, and the tiredness he remembered seeing in her eyes had vanished, leaving only the spark of determination he'd so admired. Getting to know her better sounded like great fun. Slipping an arm around her shoulders he glanced up at the now darkened sky with another smile.

_This is going to be better than I ever expected..._

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( Third time lucky, I hope..

please read and review! )


	2. Chapter 2

For a moment she didn't know where the noise had come from. Blearily she sat up, rubbing her eyes and staring around to find the source of the racket. Eventually she caught sight of her cellphone on the bedside table, the tiny metallic object ringing loudly. Groaning several curses at whoever would disturb her this early in the morning on her _day off_ she flopped back into the pillows, grabbing for the phone. "What?"

_"Good morning to you too, Miss Sunshine." _The voice on the other end of the line held barely hidden amusement, and she groaned again, running a hand through rumpled auburn hair.

"What the hell do you want this early?"

_"Did you see him?"_

"Did I see who?"

_"You know who. Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, a smile to die for?"_

Despite her annoyance she smiled at the description. "Should a married woman be talking like that?"

_"Looking's still free, honey. So I take it he found you. How did it go?"_

"Oh you know, pretty well.." Thinking back to the previous evening she sighed happily, a sound which didn't go unnoticed judging by her friend's laughter. "Oh shush. I missed him.."

_"I know that well enough. You still have that picture of him on your desk. Why the hell you didn't tell him how you felt before he left is still beyond me."_

"Cause I didn't _know_ how I felt before he left.." She'd realised it on looking up at him when he'd been about to leave, seeing the same sorrow and pain in his eyes she'd been feeling herself. In that moment she'd understood, and wanted more than anything to stop him leaving, to pull him back and keep him with her, but to her eternal regret she'd let him go. "I didn't think I'd ever see him again."

_"Did he say why he was here? All he told me was that it was 'complicated'."_

"You spoke to him?"

_"How do you think he found you? I told him there was something he might find interesting down on the beach. I wish I'd watched you both. Was he happy to see you?"_

Murrue smiled. "I got a hug. He didn't tell me why he's here, but I don't really care.."

_"He's still with the Alliance, isn't he? Are you sure it's okay? I mean, to me he looked the same goofball he was when he was here last, but it's been a while..."_

"It has.." To her, he'd seemed the same too, but... "I can find out better today."

_"You're seeing him again? Where's he staying?"_

"With Kira-kun and Lacus-san. Kira-kun was pleased to see him.." The Commander in turn had been delighted to see the young man, having not known he was alive, and had readily accepted the offer of a place to stay. And it meant she could visit him.

_"I bet he'd have been happier to stay at your place.."_

"I'm sure he would have been."

Erica laughed. _"No doubt. Do me a favour though. If you don't know why he's here, then keep your distance till you know the score. I know you've missed him, and I'm sure he's missed you too, but be careful, okay?"_

"I will."

When she reached the little beach house, she had trouble hiding a smile. Kira-kun had obviously decided that the best way for the Commander to pay for his room and board was to be a kind of unofficial babysitter for the orphan children. The blonde man was barrelling across the beach with a child under each arm, the rest following behind with shouts of happy laughter. And judging by the grin on his face, their new big friend seemed to be enjoying himself. _I wonder if he's been lonely? _Rolling up the cuffs of her jeans she hopped down onto the sand, grinning and waving when one of the kids spotted her. "Hello!"

"Hey, it's Murrue-san! Murrue-san!!" The children swarmed up the beach toward her, crowding around and chattering nineteen to the dozen, all trying to get her attention at once.

"Hey, come on now, there's only one of me! How are you all?" That brought another volley of chatter, she able to work out that they were just fine, and that they'd been playing with 'big brother'. "Big brother, huh?" The Commander grinned rather sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I see. Well, I'm glad you're all having fun. Can I borrow big brother for today?" Much to her embarrassment (and secret happiness) his smile became wide and genuine, blue eyes twinkling, and she found herself looking down at the sand, cheeks burning.

"What do you think?"

"I'm happy for her. Murrue-san's really missed him."

Lacus nodded, smoothing out her skirts before sitting down on the porch. "And him?"

"Him.." He sighed. "I don't know. He seems like the same Mwu-san, but.."

"But we don't really know why he's here. It's nice to think he came back to see Murrue-san, but..."

"But he might not have. I know. And I'm sure Murrue-san knows."

Lacus looked over the beach to where her friend and the tall blonde man were walking. Fllaga-san had been politeness itself towards her, and had certainly been pleased to see Kira - he didn't seem like the kind of person who was good at hiding how he felt. - but the fact that he was still with the Alliance set alarm bells ringing for all of them. _Murrue-san clearly cares very much for him, but how does he feel about her? When you care about someone it's hard to not trust them, or think that they're not as they seem. Murrue-san is very level-headed, but love is a pretty strong emotion to ignore..._

* * *

"Where are we going?"

"Into the city. If you're going to be staying here a while it's best if you know your way around, right?" He nodded with a smile, looking around at everything as they walked. Despite Erica's warning, she couldn't help but be relaxed around him. To her, he was the same person he'd been the day he'd left, with the same happy smile, and she was just as fond of him now as she had been then. "So...how've you been? What have you been up to?"

"Pilot training in California, then back on active duty with the kids I trained. None of them are as good as Kira, but they're not bad. They put me in charge of 'em.." He seemed quite proud of himself, chest swelled out just that little bit. "And they promoted me."

"I see.." He was grinning, clearly quite happy in his line of work and new rank, and while it was nice to see him smile, his pride confused her. Didn't he care what the Alliance had done to them? "So you're a Colonel now? You really do outrank me.."

"Nah." He grinned brightly. "You'll always be my captain."

Flushing red to her ears she looked at her feet, wondering how the hell she was supposed to stay objective when he said things like that. "S-shall we keep going?"

He nodded again cheerily and they kept walking, he stopping occasionally to peer into shop windows. Some of the shops weren't ones which would typically interest him, and for a moment she was confused...until she realised what he was doing. "Your hair looks the same as it did the last time."

"Huh? Oh.." He actually blushed just a little, picking at the sleeves of his shirt, which she noticed for the first time were rolled down, his collar neatly buttoned. His hair was carefully brushed - when had he become so concerned with his appearance? She remembered the way he'd been back on _Archangel, _the untidiness of his uniform and hair and how often he'd been scolded for it. When had that changed? _For some reason, that troubles me even more than his pride in being promoted. This more than anything makes him seem like a different person altogether.._

"Are you all right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I'm all right.." No sense in worrying him after all. The main aspects of his personality, the sunny self-confidence and kindness...they were all there still. She could be fretting over nothing.

She was acting strangely. When she'd arrived at the beach house earlier that morning she'd been smiling from ear-to-ear, dark eyes sparkling with obvious happiness - it had taken his breath away. The kids loved her...Kira had mentioned she was a regular visitor, and for an odd reason it had caused a sort of warm feeling in his chest. _I wanted her to see me as more responsible. More serious. So she'd maybe look at me differently than she did before... _And she did, but it wasn't in the way he'd hoped. There was worry there, and nervousness...that wasn't like her.

Perhaps she didn't see him that way after all? Not that he really knew _which_ way he wanted her to see him. He liked her very much, had liked her for a long time, but he wasn't sure how much. At the very least he considered her a good friend, even his best friend, but how did _she_ see _him_? She'd most likely been here since the end of the war, seventeen or eighteen months...that was long enough for someone as beautiful and kind as she was to have found someone to share her life with. That was okay...right?

_If she's found someone else, what is there for me? I came here expecting to just remember her, to find the place she'd been standing when I found her that time, and leave what I'd brought there. I didn't expect to find her here alive. Everything's changed, but is it for the better?_

Not wanting to upset her further he smiled. "Where is it you wanted to show me?"

"Up here.." She pointed ahead at a small shop just up the road. "They sell the best ice-cream there.."

"Do they really?" He grinned despite his concern. Eating ice-cream with her had been one of his more cherished dreams, one he'd thought could never come true. "How big a sundae do they sell?"

"Very big. And very expensive."

"You want one of the big ones?"

She looked surprised, but shook her head. "I can't eat one of those by myself."

"Not even if we share?"

The captain raised an eyebrow. "I've seen your appetite. If I shared with you I'd get about three spoonfuls worth. No, you can get one if you like, I'll get a banana split." He chuckled, enjoying being teased by her.

In the shop he bought one of the sundaes she'd described, every flavour of ice-cream in a frosted glass drenched in syrup, sprinkles and whipped cream, while she contented herself with a small banana split. Remembering her fondness for sweet things he wasn't surprised when she quickly polished off the treat before he'd even gotten a third of the way down the sundae glass. "Still like the sugar, huh?"

She regarded him with a mild expression. "You've eaten as much there as I have, and you aren't even halfway to finishing."

"Touche.." Mwu poked at the melting ice-cream idly before peeking up at her with a grin. She returned the smile and stole a spoonful of vanilla. "Hey!"

"Oh be quiet."

"You've already eaten yours."

"I know. Where do you want to go after this?"

"Well, I don't know my way around just yet. Where else do_ you _like to go?"

* * *

He looked surprised, blue eyes wide. Clearly wherever he'd been expecting her to take them, this hadn't been it. But it was one of her favourite places. The park in the middle of the city was an oasis of peace in the midst of crowded chaos, with flowerbeds, shady trees and even a lake. Stretching out her arms above her head she smiled, enjoying the coolness after the heat of the day. "Not what you were expecting?"

"Actually, it was _exactly_ what I was expecting."

"Huh?"

The Commander - no, Colonel - grinned. "Flowers, trees...it's perfect for you. I was always able to imagine you somewhere like this." Murrue blushed but couldn't help smiling. Maybe he really hadn't changed...still able to charm the birds from the trees. Had she been worried over nothing? On a whim she reached out and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, to his obvious surprise.

"That's better. You looked weird with them rolled down."

"Did I?"

She nodded. "Like you're trying too hard."

"I guess I wanted to fit in with the others."

"The others? The officers on your ship? You were never bothered when it was just Natarle and I.."

He looked sheepish. "You two never minded that much. On the other ship I got looked at really strange...I felt kinda self-conscious.."

"That's not like you." He'd never cared before what anyone thought of him, and that had been part of why she'd grown so fond of him. "Was it really so important what they thought?"

"No, not really. What about you? What do _you_ think?"

She smiled and stood on her tiptoes, ruffling his hair to make it messy again. "I like you the way you are."

The blonde man fairly beamed. "I'm glad to hear that. I...I guess I was trying to impress you."

Murrue giggled. "Idiot. You never needed to."

He laughed in return, the merry sound causing everyone to look round at him. "I'm glad for that too. Here, c'mon," Taking her hand he ran off, pulling her along with him.

He didn't need to impress her. She liked him the way he was. For some reason those words had filled him with a sort of giddy delight. Running with her until they reached the lake he flopped down underneath a large oak tree, grinning when she slipped her shoes off and paddled in the shallow water. "I wanted to tell you all about it. About what I do, about how many pilots I'm in command of now...all of it."

"I'm glad you didn't," she announced.

"Why?"

The captain made a face. "Arrogance doesn't suit you."

Mwu blinked. "Arrogance?"

"That's right." She pursed her lips, placing one foot in front of the other as she walked along the sandy bank of the lake. "Like the others. All the senior officers at Alaska, the ones at Artemis...bunch of strutting peacocks the lot of them. As though worth was determined by how many subordinates they had, how much they were paid..."

"Am I like that?" He remembered the commander at Artemis, remembered Sutherland...was he really like that? Arrogant, indolent? Quietly horrified he looked back up at her. "Am I?"

"No, not yet. But boasting about the things you mentioned is the first step, and it's not necessary. You've already proved yourself to me."

"Aren't you proud of me?"

The captain looked back at him with a stunning smile. "I always was. For being who you are."

He nodded slowly, thinking back. Back on _Albion_ he'd tried hard to act like the other senior officers...very different from the way he'd acted on _Archangel_. He'd tried to fit into what he'd thought had been the right niche, not realising he'd been in the right one all along. He'd barked orders, dressed properly, boasted about his achievements...she'd have hated that.

"Have I been a jerk?"

"No. If you had been, I'd have let you know."

He chuckled. "Right. Can we start again?" He held out his hand. "Mwu La Fllaga."

She took the hand. "Murrue Ramius. Nice to meet you." She tugged on the hand to pull him up, and together they walked around the shore of the lake. His best friend. While he still wasn't sure if she had someone else, he knew for sure she was his best friend, and perhaps that was all he needed to know.

"Thank you."

"Any time."

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( he didn't need to impress her, did he?

please read and review! )


	3. Chapter 3

"I thought you might be here.."

He glanced up with a small smile as she approached. She'd come out early to see if he'd be there waiting, and hadn't been disappointed. He was leaning on the railing outside the Morgenroete complex, hair and the ends of his shirt fluttering in the light sea breeze. He looked more relaxed than he had when he'd first arrived, clothing and hair no longer so neat. Murrue had told her how he'd dressed that way in an attempt to impress her and had been scolded for it. _"He doesn't need to act or dress differently to impress me. I prefer him just the way he is."_

_That much is obvious... _Erica thought wryly. It was clear that, despite her own warnings, her friend was tremendously happy and excited to have the blonde man back in her life. It was easy to understand and forgive her for, but no less worrying to her friends. La Fllaga still hadn't explained why he was here, and she was determined to get it out of him one way or another.

"She'll be out in a little while. I'm glad she isn't yet, actually, I wanted a word with you alone first."

"I won't hurt her." His voice was quiet, his gaze never meeting hers, and she raised an eyebrow.

"I wasn't suggesting that you would. Why would you think so?"

La Fllaga smiled again slightly. "Aren't you here to ask me my intentions?"

"In a way, yes." She moved to lean on the rail beside him. "She's really missed you."

"And I missed her." His smile grew for a moment, then faded as some troubling thought seemed to occur to him. "How much did she miss me?"

"Shouldn't you be asking _her_ that?"

"I guess. I just wondered is all...whether she'd found someone else. I mean, she's so beautiful, and..." He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, even more so when Erica laughed.

"You love her."

"I...I don't know." He stared at his hands, expression halfway between happy and downcast. "I thought so much about her while I was...away, but I don't really know how I feel about her.."

_I think I do... _It was clear to Erica that this young man cared as much for Murrue as she did for him, but was still sorting it all out in his head. Perhaps _that_ was why he was here. "How long were you looking for her?"

"I wasn't. I always thought about her, but I never looked for her. Until I saw her here I didn't think there was any point.."

She frowned at that, but didn't say anything. If he cared so much about her, why hadn't he tried to find her? "Then why did you come here?"

"This is where I remembered her being happy. I thought if any place could hold her memory, this could."

And she understood. "You thought she was dead.."

He nodded, slumping forward a little. "When I read the report, I..." He sighed and shook his head. He didn't need to say anything further. To lose someone you cared so much about, perhaps loved, and never have had the chance to let them know...it must be agonising. He'd mentioned this place holding her memory..

"You came to say goodbye to her."

"Don't tell her, okay? I don't want her to be sad. She's here, and she's okay, and that's enough for me."

"I will, as long as you promise to not make her cry."

"I promise."

A short while later Murrue emerged from the facility, and Erica had real trouble hiding a satisfied smile at how clearly delighted the two were to see each other. La Fllaga's grin could light up a city block, and Murrue's shy but happy smile spoke volumes. Not meeting his gaze at first she stared at her feet. "S-sorry I took so long.."

"That's okay. I've only been waiting a little while. Had a good day?"

She nodded, blushing to her ears when he took her hand, and let him lead her down to the beach, the older woman allowing herself an indulgent sisterly smile at seeing the two of them together. He'd come back believing all he could do was say goodbye to Murrue, but now he had a chance to let her know how he felt...once he worked it out for himself. _And I'm sure he will. He let her go once before...I doubt he'll make the same mistake twice... _She was sure now that whatever his reasons for being here, the Alliance had nothing to do with it. He'd come for himself.

* * *

"Were you talking with Erica?"

He nodded, brushing a hand through his hair as they walked. "She wanted to make sure I'd look after you."

Murrue crinkled her nose. "I can look after myself."

"I know you can. I think she was just worried I'd hurt you."

"She's a good friend.." _Sometimes too good. _The moment she'd found somewhere to live the older woman had been over with stew and a bottle of wine to help her settle in. Of course, she'd found out later that part of Erica's intention had been to poach her for Morgenroete.

_"Well...I heard you were a good mechanic, and I'm always looking for those..." _Not that she'd minded too much - she'd needed a place to work as well as to live, and Erica had become a good friend, if a little on the mother-hen side. She knew her friend was a little worried about why he'd come here, but she couldn't bring herself to not trust him. Since that day by the lake he'd more or less returned to being the man she remembered, though sometimes she still had to remind him to not show off.

"Did you want to go anywhere?"

He smiled. "I thought we could go get something to eat. Aren't you hungry?"

"Well, yes..." It _had_ been a long day.. "I have another idea though. If you don't mind coming shopping with me, I could cook for us."

His face lit up. "Really?"

"Of course. It won't be anything special, but you're welcome to share it."

"I'd love to. Thank you." His smile was enough to make her forget where she was for a moment, the amount of blood rushing to her face making her dizzy. Shaking her head to try and clear it she coughed.

"R-right. Shall we be going?"

_Why do I have to keep blushing around him? Yes, he's very handsome, but that shouldn't mean I keep acting like a schoolgirl... _Realising they were still holding hands Murrue sighed...but couldn't quite bring herself to pull away, especially when he gave her another of those smiles. The rush of warmth and happiness she felt made her smile herself - had she ever really had a chance? Deciding to just go with it she moved a little closer, curling her fingers a little tighter around his. He glanced up at her in surprise, then nodded gently, lifting her hand to his lips to kiss the fingers with another smile.

"Where do we go first?"

"The market." Shouldering her bag she led the way, pointing out various landmarks as they walked, from the clock tower in the main square to the distant gleaming shape of Government House on the main island. "Uzumi-sama was killed...Cagalli-san is the Representative now.."

"The old guy died? What happened?"

"Orb was attacked.." She deliberately didn't say who by, not wanting to worry him. "There was a lot of rebuilding after the war, and looking at it now you'd never know it happened.."

"I had no idea.." As she'd expected, he hadn't known anything about the Alliance attack on the country or on Kaguya - in fact she doubted he knew the truth about a lot of things. She wanted to tell him everything but held back, biting her lip. _If he knew the truth what would he think of me? I know he wouldn't give us away, but if his loyalty to them is greater than his loyalty to us...I don't want him to hate me... _Closing her eyes she sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm all right.." Forcing a smile on her face she pointed ahead. "Up there.."

That sadness was back. He'd seen it occasionally in the times they'd spent together, and it always worried him. It was different from the kind he'd seen before on _Archangel. _That had been concern, worry that she wasn't doing a good enough job as captain...this was real sadness, and he didn't know how to help her. She did seem happy he was there, always smiling when she saw him, but every so often the smile would disappear. _Sometimes she looks at me with that sadness, and sometimes she seems as though she's afraid of me. _He'd never hurt her, so why? The Director hadn't said whether or not his captain had found anyone else...so perhaps she was worried about what her someone would think of her spending time with him.

"Is it okay for you to invite me over?"

"Of course it is." She looked surprised at his question, brows knitted in a slight frown. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"No...no reason.." Best not to worry her more than she already was. And besides, he wanted to see her smile again. Squeezing her hand a little tighter he gazed around at the market stalls. He already had the gifts he'd bought for her (and could never work up the courage to actually _give_ to her) but wanted to buy her something to put the smile back on her face. Not sweet things, though he knew she loved them...something else, something she could keep with her. Something like...Mwu grinned. Still holding his captain's hand he pulled her over to a nearby stall.

"What are you doing?"

"Here.." Selecting a length of red velvet ribbon he tied her hair, brushing fingertips against a flushed cheek. "What do you think?"

"I.." Just as he'd hoped, she smiled. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

"You're welcome.." Not able to hide his grin, which he was sure must be goofy as hell, he paid for the ribbon before taking her hand again. She kept stealing glances at him as they walked, a blush darkening her cheeks each time. When she behaved this way it didn't seem so much like she had someone else - if she didn't, then why the sadness? Not understanding, but hating to see her unhappy he leaned down and kissed the crown of her hair. "You don't have to worry."

"About what?"

"About whatever it is that's bothering you."

She smiled a little. "But you don't know what that is."

"I don't have to know. Whatever it is, if I can help you then I will."

Clearly surprised by that she looked up at him, amber eyes wide. She was quiet for a moment, then moved to hug him, resting her head on his shoulder. Mwu smiled and held her close, brushing a hand over her hair. "It's okay." And it was. Whatever she was sad about, he'd do his best to make her smile.

* * *

"Here.."

The Colonel (she still had trouble thinking of him that way) accepted the plate she offered with a happy smile. "Thanks." She'd placed meat and peppers onto wooden skewers and cooked them outdoors on the barbecue in her little garden, setting the plates on the wooden table with a bowl of salad and chilled bottles of lager. She had wine for herself but didn't intend to drink too much, not wanting anything to spoil the evening. Placing more kebabs onto her plate she added salad before sitting at the table.

"You like salad?"

"Yes. Don't you?"

He screwed up his nose, managing to look both disgusted and endearing at the same time. "It doesn't taste like anything."

"And it's good for you."

He grumbled at that, taking a large bite of his kebab. Somehow the notion that he wouldn't like salad hadn't come as a surprise. It was just..._like_ him. With a sudden spark of mischief she placed a lettuce leaf on his plate, not able to hide her laughter at his outraged expression. "I dare you to eat it."

"Oh, I'll eat it, it's just..." He poked at it idly before popping it in his mouth and chewing it with evident distaste. "It tastes weird." Murrue grinned, taking a drink of her wine.

"Did you just drink half that glass then?"

"Probably."

The blonde man chuckled softly. "I'd forgotten you could do that. Still impressive."

She lifted her glass at him. "Thank you."

Things were getting back to normal between them, the friendly banter and teasing much the same as it had always been. Or _was_ it the same? He'd never made any attempt to hide his interest in her, and before she'd tended to ignore it - she got that from a lot of guys after all - but now it seemed as though things were different. _I'd realised the day he left how much I wanted him to stay with me...so what the reason I wanted him to stay? _Getting up she wandered over to the little pond her friends had helped her dig, sitting on the bench and gazing into the water.

"There's that look again."

She smiled slightly. "What look?"

"The sad one. I never know whether you're happy to be with me or not.."

"I am. Very happy." Looking up at him she held out a hand, gesturing for him to sit with her. He had always been like that. More perceptive than people gave him credit for...he'd noticed her worry. "I'm glad I was able to see you again.."

"But?"

"There isn't a 'but'. I always hoped you'd come here one day.."

The blonde man looked surprised, but smiled a little. "All this time?"

"All this time. I still have the photograph they took of you with Natarle and I."

"You don't have anyone?"

Smiling a little at the note of hope in his voice she shook her head. "No. I never found the right person." _Or I hadn't. Now I'm not so sure... _He grinned and pulled her close, resting his chin on the top of her head...it seemed as though he was quite pleased to hear she didn't have anyone special. Maybe the reason she didn't was because she'd always been waiting for him?

_I just wish I could tell him everything..._

* * *

( still problems, ne?

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	4. Chapter 4

Stretching out contentedly she stared up at the ceiling with a sleepy smile. Normally on a weekend she'd stay in bed at least another hour, but today was different. Full of enthusiasm and no small amount of happiness she fairly bounced out of bed and into the shower, not able to keep from grinning. She'd planned everything carefully, down to the last detail - today would be perfect. Rubbing rose-scented shampoo into her hair she laughed, splashing her feet in the water. She'd scolded him several times for fussing over his appearance, but today it would be her turn...she'd taken great care picking her outfit, wanting it to be just right. _Not that I think he'd mind too much what I wore, but still..._

Once out of the shower she donned her favourite white sundress, applying light make-up carefully before clipping up dark hair and hiding it under a straw sunhat, around which she'd already tied the ribbon he'd bought her...then got to work on the next part of her preparations. He'd asked her if she wanted to take a walk with him today around the island's clifftop beauty spots and she'd readily accepted, and had offered to bring along a picnic. Over in the kitchen of the little house she began to prepare sandwiches. Fruit, a flask of coffee and two packages of cookies were already in the backpack, and once she'd added the sliced ham and cheese to the bread she crossed to the fridge to replace the packets, glancing up at the weather as she did so.

And promptly dropped what she'd held with an embarrassing squeak.

He was right there at the window, handsome face lit up in a sunny smile. Murrue frowned, hands on hips, and his smile vanished, he assuming a meek expression and sidling away. She'd told him she'd wait in the car park of the local nature reserve...so why was he here? With a sigh she unlocked the door. "What are you doing _here_?"

"I wanted to see you," he answered placidly, sitting down on the bench beside her fish pond. She sighed again but smiled a little, deciding to let him be while she finished. She had more sandwiches to make. And, just as she'd expected he followed her, poking his nose around the door to watch her work. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Making the picnic. I want to make enough for your appetite."

"Are you saying I eat a lot?"

"Yes." she replied matter-of-factly, hiding a smile when his face fell. "Well, you do."

"Still.." He edged a bit closer, picking up the fallen packets and stealing a slice of cheese. After a minute he edged a little nearer, eventually resting his chin on her shoulder and watching her work. Murrue smiled and reached up to thread fingers through his hair. He was a pest, but a sweet one, and she was growing increasingly fond of him. He watched her making the sandwiches, nose twitching as the little pile grew higher.

"Didn't you have any breakfast? I can't believe Lacus-san and Kira-kun let you go without you eating anything...those children wake up so early.."

"I snuck out.." he admitted sheepishly.

"I figured as much. Go sit down. I was going to make myself something once I was finished this. It won't be anything interesting though, just oatmeal with syrup."

"That's fine. I just.." He rubbed the back of his neck as he usually did when he was embarrassed about something. "That pink princess looks at me funny sometimes. Not nasty...but it's like she doesn't quite trust me..."

Murrue smiled a little. "And Kira-kun?"

"Like I've never been away. He doesn't mind where I've been or who with, and he seemed happy that you and I were getting on okay. I think the princess...I think she's worried I'll hurt you."

_Again, more perceptive than he's given credit for... _As he sat heavily in one of the kitchen chairs she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's all right. Lacus-san is just protective of her friends. Erica's the same."

He nodded, poking at the table top. "But _she_ trusts me.."

She smiled. Erica did indeed trust him - instead of warning her to keep her distance as she had before, she now told her to have fun. _She won't tell me what the two of them spoke about, but she's sure everything will turn out okay.. _"I'm glad to hear that." To her relief he didn't ask if _she_ trusted him...the only patch of shadow in her life. Dropping a kiss to the crown of his hair she moved to the cupboard for the oatmeal, trying to hide her worries. She very much cared about him, but.. The next moment he'd wrapped her up in his arms, she pressed close to his chest - unexpected, but extremely comforting.

"It's okay. I won't hurt you.." Murrue just closed her eyes and returned the embrace, not able to help believing him.

"I know.."

* * *

The day was perfect. Sunny, bright, with a light sea breeze taking the edge off the heat. There were a few people around but not many, meaning he was almost completely alone with his companion, much to his delight. He enjoyed the time he spent in the city with her, and when she came over to see him at the kid's house, but this was infinitely better. He and his captain walked along the clifftop path, she looking all around herself at the admittedly stunning scenery...which meant he could watch her all he wanted. She'd taken care with her appearance, much to his amusement (he remembered being scolded for the same thing) but he wasn't able to deny the effect it had on him. _She looks amazing... _"I like your dress.."

She blushed, fiddling with a lock of escaped hair. "Thank you."

"You'd have looked beautiful no matter what you wore, but this..." At the obviously unexpected compliment her colour deepened, even her ears turning red, which he found so adorable he couldn't help laughing. "Not used to that?"

She shook her head mutely.

"Well then, I'll have to tell you every day until you are."

She smiled a little, pressing the backs of her hands to her face. "Why are you so sweet to me?"

"Because you deserve it." He took her hand and squeezed gently, grinning when she squeezed back.

"How do you know?"

On a whim, he leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. "I just do."

His captain smiled again, this smile a small and secret one. "I see." They walked together in companionable silence until they reached a shady grove of trees, and Mwu beamed as he realised it was the place he'd found her that day...the place he'd intended to leave the gifts he'd bought her. She led him under the largest one and gestured for him to sit down, she spreading a blanket out for their picnic.

"This is where I found you that time, isn't it?"

"It's one of my favourite places.." Carefully she unpacked the small bag she'd brought, setting out plastic plates and cups along with the several packets of sandwiches she'd made. He chuckled.

"You have enough there?"

"I was wondering if there was enough for _you_," she admitted. "Your appetite's bigger than mine.."

"True, but still...there'll be enough for supper and next morning's breakfast."

She scowled. "I did my best."

He held up his hands to placate her. "I never said you didn't. I'll do my best to eat them all."

"You don't have to.." She shook her head with a slight laugh. "Just pride."

"You have every right to be proud of yourself. Here, c'mon," Holding out an arm he smiled when she moved to sit close beside him. Despite her occasional sadness she seemed quite content to be with him like this, smiling when he held her hand and blushing at his compliments. _It's more than friendship now. Maybe it always was... _They spent a pleasant hour eating the picnic she'd made, she teasing him gently about his appetite. And while he didn't manage to eat all the sandwiches she'd made, between them they managed to eat all the cookies.

"Dreamer.."

She smiled drowsily, stretching out a hand to let the sunlight filter through her fingers. The afternoon was slipping away, the sun beginning to dip toward the horizon, but she made no move to get up, quite happy where she was. He was sitting up against the tree watching the scenery, seeming not to notice how he was slowly running his fingers up and down her arm. She hadn't told him however, not wanting him to stop. Instead she stretched out with a little sigh, wrinkling her nose at his quiet laughter. "What's the laugh for?"

"Cause you sound cute."

"Do I really?"

"Yep." Winding his arm around her waist he brought her to sit on his lap before resting his chin on her shoulder. "Very cute." He sighed. "Can we stay out here forever?"

"Wouldn't you get bored after a while?"

"With you here? No way."

Murrue smiled, angling her head to look up at him. "You like my company that much?"

"I always did. Here," He lifted her up and moved until she was facing him, the sheer affection she saw in his eyes and smile making her blush. What he wanted to say she wasn't sure, but after a while it didn't matter too much. He reached up and very lightly brushed aside an escaped wisp of her hair, fingers tracing over her cheek, and she closed her eyes, leaning into the gentle touch. When her eyes fluttered open again she was surprised but not alarmed to discover her face was inches from his, so close their noses almost touched. He said nothing, just continued to watch her with that same affection, and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to lean just that little bit closer and brush her lips against his.

The kiss lasted just a couple of seconds, but sent such a rush of happiness through her it made her fingertips tingle. He seemed as awed by it as she was, blue eyes wide, but the hesitation didn't last long. Wanting to feel more she kissed him again, managing a muffled giggle when he pulled her closer to deepen the exchange. Very gently he asked for permission and she let him do as he wanted, purring in contentment as he explored her mouth. When they were forced to break apart she couldn't help grinning, nudging closer to touch her forehead to his. "You like my company _that_ much, huh?"

He chuckled softly. "Oh yeah.."

"You're pretty good at that.."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Cap'n."

Murrue kissed the tip of his nose. "I already told you, I'm not your captain anymore. I think we're probably close enough for you to call me by my name now."

He nodded with a gentle smile. "Then you call me by mine."

"Even though you outrank me?"

The Colonel - no, Mwu - kissed her again. "That never mattered." She smiled back and cuddled into his arms, head pillowed on his shoulder. Whatever he was here for, whether she could completely trust him or not...none of that mattered anymore.

Because she loved him.

* * *

( kekekekeke

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	5. Chapter 5

He hopped up and down on one foot, impatient. The factory horn had blown around ten minutes ago, and though there was a steady stream of technicians and other workers from the facility's main entrance, there was no sign of the one he was waiting for. She _did_ work harder than anyone else he'd ever met, but still...she'd promised. He planned to take her out to dinner tonight, having made reservations at one of the island's best restaurants, and though she'd protested at him spending so much on her, he was happy to do it. _It's not like I spend anything on myself, even if I had the opportunity to. It's much more worthwhile to spend it on her, to see her smile... _Sitting on the railing he watched the door - then suddenly grinned. Amongst the throng of uniformed workers he saw her, dressed in a pale pink top and skirt with a shawl around her shoulders. She looked incredible, and though he knew he must be staring he couldn't help himself. Glancing up, Murrue noticed him and blushed, shyly directing her gaze at her sandalled feet.

"Were you waiting long?"

"Nah. And it's a nice night.." Taking her hand he brought it to his lips for a kiss. "You look amazing."

"T-thank you.."

Looking back at the entrance to Morgenroete he smiled to see the Director watching them. Unseen by Murrue the older woman tapped her watch, the meaning clear, and he nodded. He'd asked her for permission to spend more time with Murrue, which she'd seemed to find extremely amusing, but it almost felt as though the Director was her guardian, like an aunt or an older sister.

_"It won't really be a 'date',_" he'd admitted. "_I'm not sure if we're at that stage yet. I just want to spoil her.._"

"_Which she deserves. Have a good time.._"

"Shall we be going, milady?"

"We shall, sir." As they walked away together hand-in-hand Mwu was aware of people watching them, men especially. Most looked rather jealous of him, and he felt a sense of immense and rather smug satisfaction, offhandedly wondering just how many of them had asked her out and been turned down. She glanced up at him with a smile as they walked, amber eyes reflecting affection and no small amount of mischief, which he found irresistible. _How much more is there to her than I've seen?_

"You have a beautiful smile.."

Murrue blushed again, whacking him with her free hand, but she did look pleased. "You're keeping your word then.."

"The one where I say you're beautiful till you accept it as the truth?"

She nodded with an air of resignation.

"Even if it is true?"

"Even if it is. Tell me something. When you look in the mirror in the morning, do you immediately think 'handsome'? And be _serious_," she scolded gently as a grin twitched the corners of his lips.

"Honestly? No." he replied, rubbing the back of his neck at her smile. "Well, I don't..."

"_I_ think you are."

"Thank you very much. So, I'm handsome to you, and you're beautiful to me. That right?"

She grinned. "That's right. But I'm not going to keep telling you you're handsome. Your ego's big enough as it is."

"Ouch.."

Standing on her tiptoes she kissed his cheek. "Now come on, or we'll be late."

"Right you are, miss."

* * *

He'd been watching her all night. Twirling her fork in the mound of spaghetti she had to hide a smile at how artless he was. Most guys here with dates watched them while they weren't looking, but Mwu was making no attempt to hide his interest, blue eyes flicking from her to his meal and back again. She ate quietly, only glancing around her every so often. The restaurant he'd brought her to was beautiful, all crystal and marble, and they'd been seated in an alcove with a view of the harbour - it must have cost him a small fortune. But when she protested he'd just smiled, saying that she was worth it, and that she wasn't to worry.

_I'm still sometimes worried about what might happen when he finds out why we're here, even more so now we've gotten closer. I do love him, and I realise that I have for a long time, so... _Leaning back in her chair she closed her eyes. She knew he wouldn't give them away - what she was afraid of was that smile disappearing, the happiness replaced with anger...him leaving and her never seeing him again.

"Hey.." His voice startled her, as did the way he reached out and caught her hand. "I'm not doing too well tonight, am I?"

"Huh?"

"I wanted tonight to be different. For that sad look to not come back. But it has.."

"It's nothing. I'm okay.." He clearly wasn't buying that, one eyebrow raised, and she sighed. "It's nothing you need to worry about. Just work problems."

"Okay.." To her relief he seemed to drop the subject, instead fishing around in the pocket of his trousers before unearthing a small velvet box. "Here. I...brought this for you.."

Surprised at the unexpected gift Murrue took the box, feeling the soft fabric beneath her fingertips before popping the catch. "Oh..."

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful.." It was a bracelet, made up of worked silver roses linked together...when he'd found time to buy this she had no idea. Taking it carefully from the box she slipped it onto her wrist, smiling happily up at him. "Thank you.."

He actually blushed. "Y-you're welcome.." She giggled and took a sip of her wine. He really could be very sweet. Her previous worries eased, at least for now, she settled back in her chair and gazed out at the brightly-lit harbour, smiling when he poked idly at his cooling dinner. "Do you want to go for a walk later?"

"I'd like that very much."

Half-an-hour later they walked together along the dockside talking quietly. The night was cool and pleasant, the moon floating in a sea of clouds, and they weren't the only ones to be taking advantage of the rather romantic surroundings. Seeing other couples talking and snuggled close together Murrue pursed her lips...then took his arm, resting her head on his shoulder. He glanced down at her with a smile, kissing the crown of her hair. "I'm glad you feel better now.."

"I can never feel sad for long around you.."

"Good to know." She nodded with a smile. It was true. Although he was the cause of her worries, he was also the cause of her happiness, and no melancholy lasted long around him. Holding out her hand she gazed at the bracelet he'd given her, tilting her wrist to make the silver sparkle in the moonlight. Unexpected certainly, but no less beautiful for it.

"Roses, hmm?"

"They always reminded me of you," he said softly. "Because of the locket, and the scent you always wore - still wear. Whenever I smelt it, I always thought of you."

She pinked and smiled, pulling him down to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

"Any time." Taking her hand he squeezed gently, and they continued their walk, laughing at silly jokes and old memories, enjoying their time together. At least, they were until..

"Colonel! Hey, Colonel!" The voice was unfamiliar to her, both she and Mwu turning around to see where it came from. Two young men were stumbling out of a dockside bar, both wearing dumb grins, and waved cheerily when they saw Mwu. They both seemed the worse for wear for drink, and probably wouldn't even remember her face in the morning, but she still edged a little behind her companion. Mwu chuckled and waved back, shaking his head when they meandered up to them.

"It's a damn good thing you're on shoreleave right now. How much have you had?"

The young men - crewmembers of his she supposed - glanced at each other before looking back up and shrugging in unison. The older man sighed. "Never mind. Here, I want you to meet my friend. This is..." He got no further. Pulling her hand from his she backed away, guilt and sorrow welling up at his confusion. He held out a hand to her but she shook her head, instead turning and running, heedless of his shouts. She ran for what felt like hours, ducking in and out of people and streets until she reached the park near home. Leaning on a tree she fought for breath, half-blinded by fatigue and tears, and almost didn't feel the gentle hand on her shoulder.

"You'd make a good marathon runner. I had trouble keeping up with you.."

Unsure of what to say, and not able to face the confused hurt mixed with kindness in his eyes she stared at her feet, biting her lip to hold back the tears.

"Talk to me, Murrue. Why did you run?"

"I..." _How can I tell him? I can't just come out and say 'Because I'm a deserter'. He wouldn't understand... _"It doesn't matter."

"Stop telling me that. I'm not stupid. The sadness, the way you look almost afraid of me sometimes - what are you hiding from me?" She didn't answer, and he sighed, looking away himself. "Why don't you trust me?"

Pain stabbed at her and she screwed her eyes closed, wanting to tell him everything but not daring to. There was more than her life at stake. Struggling to keep everything in she hiccupped, not able to keep the tears from falling, and ran.

He watched her go. Confused, angry, and more than a little hurt he stared after her, but made no attempt to follow. Whatever the reason for her silence, it must be important...important enough for her to not tell him about. Or trust him with. _Friends shouldn't keep secrets, and she's so much more than a friend... _Running a hand through thick blonde hair he slowly trudged from the park, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now. The only place he could think of to go was back to the kid's house...and all he could do was some serious thinking. Murrue was clearly happy to spend time with him...so why was she afraid of him?

* * *

"She ran away?"

His friend nodded, staring blankly out at the horizon. He hadn't moved from this spot all evening, unheeding of Lacus' offer of dinner and the children's request to come play. Since he'd told them earlier he was taking Murrue-san out to dinner the only thing to assume was that it hadn't gone well. Mwu-san hadn't spoken about it at first, then quietly told him that he'd been walking with Murrue-san when she'd suddenly run off. "And she wouldn't tell me why.."

"Where were you both when this happened?"

"The docks. We'd finished dinner and were taking a walk together, then I saw some kids from my ship coming out of a bar. I was going to introduce Murrue but when I turned round she was gone.."

Kira sighed. "And she wouldn't tell you why?"

"No. She just started to cry.." There was real pain in the older man's voice. "And she wouldn't let me help her.."

"She's scared."

"I know. But I don't know what of. Is it me?"

"More of what you represent. Of the Alliance."

Mwu-san frowned. "Why?"

"What have they told you about what happened at Alaska?"

"That ZAFT destroyed the base...that _Archangel_ was lost with all hands.." His friend rubbed at his face. "I thought I'd never see her again.."

"The base _was_ destroyed. But not by ZAFT. We're still not sure how, but the base just blew up...nothing ZAFT did could have done it. The ship only managed to escape, and even then it was damaged by the blast. Everything within ten miles just vanished.." His friend nodded but stayed quiet, clearly sensing there was more to the story, and Kira sighed. "We left for Orb after that. That's why Murrue-san didn't want to tell you. To the Alliance she and the others are deserters."

Mwu-san blinked, blue eyes wide as he absorbed what had just been said. "Then...the Alliance.."

"We don't have any real proof that it was them, though it sure seems like it.."

"No. They were." His friend's eyes had turned hard and cold, mouth set in a tense line. "I've seen that before. Everything vanishing that way. It was the Alliance. They left them there to die." Without another word he got to his feet and ran off up the beach, leaving a confused but slightly relieved Kira sitting there alone.

_I'm glad he seems to understand now..._

The little neighbourhood was quiet, the only sound as he ran up the street the distant mewing of a cat. Everything was serene and peaceful, a direct contrast to how he felt. This last eighteen months he'd believed Murrue and his friends to be dead, killed in the line of duty...never realising that they'd been abandoned by the Alliance. _She took her ship and headed for Orb. She protected her crew, led them to safety...what captain worth their salt wouldn't do the same? _ Finding the little house at the end of the road he pushed open the gate, ducking under the trees as he made his way to the front door - then stopped. He could hear crying. Very quietly he edged around the house to gaze into the garden.

She was there, sitting on the bench by her fish pond. Her eyes were closed, thin fingers clutching the fabric of her skirt, and the tears were falling in a silent stream, sparkling silver in the moonlight. Mwu sighed and made his way up to her, footsteps making almost no sound on the grass and sat down beside her, placing his hand over both of hers. "Hey.." She started violently, amber eyes as wide as he'd ever seen them, and he smiled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.."

"How come you're here?" Her voice was faint and tired, but not angry.

"Because I talked to the kid. He told me what happened. No, it's okay," he soothed when she tried to pull away, "It's okay. I'm not mad at you or anything.." He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "I'm so proud of you."

"Y-you're _proud_ of me? But..." She leaned forward and hugged him, her tears soaking into his shirt. Mwu smiled and just held her, stroking her hair gently as she cried. She'd kept all this bottled up for a long time, the fear and guilt weighing heavily on her...now she could let it all out.

"Did you think I'd be angry?"

She nodded silently and he chuckled. "Silly.." Loyalty to the Alliance paled into insignificance compared to the loyalty and affection he felt for her. There would never even be a choice between them. "You saved everyone. You did what the best captains in the world would do, and I'd never be angry at you for it. I'm just glad you're all right.."

Murrue hiccupped slightly and peeked up at him through tear-soaked eyelashes. "Did you think _Archangel_ was gone?"

"That's all the report said. Lost with all hands."

She quirked a little smile. "Then why did you come here?"

He laughed nervously. "I...you know the bracelet I gave you? Well, I actually bought a ton of stuff like that, little things here and there on my travels. I planned to come here and leave them in that spot I remembered finding you that day...as a way of saying goodbye.."

Her eyes filled with tears again, which she brushed away impatiently. "Idiot.."

"You're welcome. Now," he lifted her onto his lap and let her cuddle close, "how about you tell me everything that's happened. Don't leave anything out."

And slowly and quietly, she did.

* * *

( wheeee

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	6. Chapter 6

Blinking open sleepy eyes she smiled. The house was quiet save for the ticking of her clock, the chirping of birds outside and the soft breathing of the one beside her. He was sound asleep still, stretched out on the sofa under the patterned blanket she'd thrown over the two of them, his bare feet poking out the end. Carefully, so as not to wake him she took his hand, examining the broad palm, the calloused fingers, and stifled a giggle when he murmured something in his sleep. He fidgeted but didn't wake up, instead curling his free arm a little more securely around her waist before settling back down.

_How late did we stay up last night? He came over around half past ten or so and we talked for hours, or it felt like hours... _They'd stayed out by the pond for a long time, she curled up on his lap while she'd told him everything that had happened between him leaving at Alaska and finding her here. He'd held her close and brushed her tears away, knowing she'd needed to get it all out. He'd been angry and hurt at the Alliance's betrayal, but not at her. _"How could I be mad at you? You saved everyone, and sure as hell didn't owe them any loyalty after what they did. I just wish I'd been there for you.."_

"You're here for me now, though," she told him softly, pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand. He'd told her of the time he'd spent in California, of his promotion and the responsibilities he'd been given. Before, he'd been proud of himself, but now it seemed to sadden him, knowing that the Alliance had transferred only those they'd believed worth saving. The ones they still had a use for. Carefully moving in his embrace she gazed up at his sleeping face, a loving smile curving her lips. "And you _were_ worth it.." She'd brought them in here after a while, making soup for them and sitting close beside him on the sofa as he'd told his story. Despite his responsiblities and pride, his loneliness had been as deep as her own, and he'd hugged her tight as he told her how much he'd missed her.

"All the same, I'm glad you were somewhere safe.."

"You'd rather I was somewhere else than with you?"

Murrue smiled at the drowsy voice. "If it meant you were okay, then maybe." He pouted at that, but the mischievous twinkle in half-open blue eyes ruined the attempt. "Well, things haven't worked out so badly, have they?"

"No, I guess not. But I still wish I'd stayed with you rather than wasting all this time doing something else.."

"That 'something else' is your job."

"And right now I wish it wasn't." Heaving himself into a sitting position he lifted her to sit on his lap, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. "I missed a lot."

She leaned forward and kissed him gently. "Don't worry yourself about it. You're here now."

"I am here." He beamed - then the smile faded as something seemed to occur to him.

"What is it?"

"I stayed the night. The Director's going to be so mad at me.."

"She won't be. Nothing happened, we just fell asleep on the sofa together. Now don't worry." She kissed him again and got up, the blanket still draped over her shoulders as she made her way to the kitchen. It was pretty late morning, and she was quite hungry. _And given his appetite, I'm sure he will be too... _So breakfast it would be. As she set butter to melt in a frying pan she felt warm arms around her waist. "Pest." He chuckled and nuzzled kisses to her cheek, his stubble tickling her till she giggled and squirmed to escape. "No, no, stop it! Stop it!"

"You're ticklish..." He grinned brightly as the notion dawned on him, then ran his fingers up and down her ribs, tickling mercilessly until she could barely breathe let alone talk, tears running down cheeks stained hectic red with mirth. Eventually he let her go, beaming from ear-to-ear as she struggled for breath. "I had no idea.."

"And I was hoping you never would." she replied crossly, rearranging her ruffled clothing

Mwu just watched her with an idiot's grin, totally enchanted. When he'd woken earlier he hadn't known where he was for a moment, then he'd heard her voice. He and Murrue had talked well into the night, she eventually bringing a blanket from her room so the two of them would be more comfortable...they must have fallen asleep like that. Not that he was complaining. And though she looked tired, still in the same outfit she'd had on the night before, she was still beautiful to him. _I'm screwed, aren't I? If I can see her like this, with ruffled hair and panda eyes and still think she's gorgeous, I never really had a chance... _"You okay?"

"I will be in a minute," she huffed. "Jerk."

"But you sound so cute when you laugh.." He hadn't heard her laughter much back on _Archangel_, the young woman too weighed down with worry and her responsiblities to even smile much, though he'd done his best. Now things could be different. The war was over, everyone was safe...they could relax and enjoy themselves. "I should try and make you laugh more often.."

"Is that right?" She'd turned back to the stove so he couldn't see her expression, but the trace of amusement in her voice let him know she was smiling.

"Yes it is. Tell me something. Does Orb have any theme parks?"

"Certainly it does. There's one by the shore on the main island."

"Then let's go there today."

Murrue peeked at him over her shoulder, amber eyes twinkling. "Are you asking me out?"

"Yep."

* * *

"You're going out on a date, Mwu-san?"

He nodded cheerfully, running a brush through his hair. Out on the beach he could see Murrue with the orphan children, she dressed now in a simple T-shirt and jeans. She was sitting on the sand with one of the smallest on her lap, playing counting games on the little one's toes while the others chanted the words along with her. "We talked things through, told each other everything...it's all okay now. Sorry I didn't call and say where I was.."

The kid smiled. "We knew you'd be with Murrue-san. Where are the two of you going?"

"She tells me there's a theme park over on the other island, so I'm going to take her there. She needs to have more fun."

"I'm sure she will." He grinned and mussed Kira's hair before walking out to where she was waiting. Setting down the child Murrue smiled and kissed her on the cheek before moving to join him, threading her fingers through his.

"Ready to go?"

"Mmm-hmm." She waved goodbye to the kids, who hopped up and down excitedly and all began to chatter at once. Between requests for them to go too and pleas for toffee apples and candy floss they managed to escape, laughing as their little escorts followed close behind. Sensing an opportunity for mischief Mwu scooped up his companion and ran with her, grinning widely at her squeak of surprise, and even when they were a great enough distance from the children he didn't set her down. "I can walk, you know."

"I know. But it's more fun this way. And you're light as a feather." She sighed but didn't protest, eventually settling close and resting her head on his shoulder.

"You're not carrying me all the way there. You'll embarrass me."

"And it'd be cute." Amused by the idea he imagined the proud young woman's expression if he really did carry her all the way to the park. She'd probably go red to her ears and hide her face in his shirt. Adorable as that would be, he knew he couldn't do it to her...he respected her far too much. _And she wouldn't talk to me all day. That would be no fun at all. _So when they reached the boat to take them back across to Onogoro he set her down. "There we go."

"Thank you." But she didn't pull away, instead sitting close beside him in the boat. Her fingers picked at her jeans in a nervous fashion, amber eyes focused on her feet...she was clearly worried about something.

"What's wrong, beautiful?"

"Are we dating now?"

He smiled and slipped an arm around her shoulders. "Not if you don't want to. We can be whatever you want us to be."

"It's not that it's not okay.." She pinked, and finally peeked up at him through her eyelashes with a small smile. "If it wasn't, I wouldn't be here. I just wondered. Besides..." Her smile grew, becoming rather abashed. "Aren't we a bit old to call it 'dating'?"

Mwu chuckled. "Well then, what would _you_ call it?"

She nudged closer and kissed him gently. "We don't have to call it anything."

* * *

"Wow.."

Murrue grinned, bouncing on her toes in excitement. She'd always known this place was here but never visited, never having found the time somehow. Focusing on her work and her garden had always seemed more important and besides...there had never been the right person to go with. But today she could have fun. Still holding Mwu's hand she squeezed it, her enthusiasm clearly amusing to him. As they walked toward the park the rollercoaster swooped overhead, the riders screaming in delight (and possibly terror) and she giggled, pointing upward. "I want to go on that first."

Her companion glanced up offhandedly - and visibly paled. "On that?"

"Are you scared?"

"No!" He looked offended she'd even suggest the idea, but certainly didn't look happy when he looked back up at the ride. Trying her best not to laugh and wound his already injured pride further she pulled him into the queue, keeping a tight hold on his hand so he wouldn't try and escape. But she needn't have worried. Although Mwu was obviously nervous that pride wouldn't allow him to show it, and so he stood quietly in the queue with her, azure eyes only occasionally darting up to the ride above. Murrue couldn't help smiling. _He's so stubborn..._

"If you don't want to go on it, just say.."

"No, it's okay." He set his chin in determination, only glancing at her in surprise as she laughed and hugged him. Stubborn he was, and pigheaded, yet somehow it only made her love him more. The next ride she'd let him choose, whatever it was.

After the rollercoaster ride, which she'd thoroughly enjoyed, she led her companion through the crowded park, still trying to hide her smile. He was obviously tremendously relieved it was all over, tanned face still slightly green...he'd held onto the bars so tightly his knuckles had turned white. Shaking her head she took his arm. "Imagine. I thought you were fearless.." He didn't offer any retort to her gentle teasing, not even a pout, and she sighed, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry.."

Mwu smiled a little. "Aren't I your hero anymore?"

"Of course you are. And it's actually kind of reassuring to know you're afraid of something.."

"I wasn't scared," he claimed, but her raised eyebrow made him grin rather sheepishly. "Okay, maybe I was a tiny bit nervous. I'm more scared of you though."

"Me?"

"Oh yeah. You when you were mad was terrifying. Even scarier than the Lieutenant."

Murrue beamed. "I had no idea."

He sighed and shook his head. "Don't tell anyone."

"I won't, promise. Which ride do you want to go on?"

"The puke cups!" Catching her hand he ran off through the park, pulling her along behind him. All she could do was shake her head at his sudden change in mood and follow him, reflecting idly that spending time with him would be like being in the eye of a hurricane, but also like a breath of fresh air...

"You okay?"

She nodded with a smile, though she felt fairly unsteady on her feet. After the teacup ride he'd ushered her onto the log ride, then onto pedal boats that crossed the ornamental lake in the mddle of the park, and as a result she was a little breathless. He however seemed to be just fine, full of enthusiasm and energy, and as he charged through the park with her in tow she tugged on his hand. "Hey, wait a minute!"

"Hmm?" Stopping so quickly she almost cannoned into him he whirled around with a bright smile. "What's wrong?"

She sighed, but had to smile fondly at how excited he was. "Can we get something to eat? I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.."

"Where would you like to go?"

"Anywhere, I don't mind."

"Okay then, go sit down and get your breath back, and I'll go get lunch. Chicken all right?"

"Sure, but..." She opened her bag and fished for her purse, but he closed his hand over hers.

"Nah, I'll buy. My treat."

"No, I want to pay half.."

He kissed her forehead. "Don't be stubborn."

"Me? You're the one being stubborn. At least let me pay for a cup of coffee."

"Nope. You can pay next time." With the same smile, which she found infuriating, he ruffled her hair and disappeared into the crowd, leaving her there fuming. Closing her bag she stalked off to the nearest bench and slouched down, scowling.

_Jerk. Irritating, stubborn jerk._

* * *

"Are you going to talk to me?"

She stayed silent, not meeting his gaze. He understood he must have annoyed her by not letting her pay for lunch, but he'd just wanted to treat her. She'd paid for admission into the park, and bought soda for them both after the pedal boat ride...what was wrong with him paying for lunch? Was she really so stubborn? Blowing upwards at his unruly hair he sneaked another sideways glance at her. She still refused to look back at him, and he sighed, deciding to look around him instead. He and Murrue weren't the only couple here today - there were several pairs wandering around, the girls seeming to be dressed as lightly as they could get away with. It was all golden skin, sun-bleached hair and miniskirts...very different from his own companion. Hers was wisps of auburn hair escaping from a tortoiseshell clip, faded jeans and pink T-shirt, pale skin as though the sun had never touched it...and she was beautiful.

With a proud smile he looked back at her - and blinked. Those eyes which until a moment ago had been filled with regal fire and indignation were now filled with tears which she was trying very hard not to let him see. Confused and dismayed Mwu caught her hand, holding tightly when she tried to pull away, and led her to the closest ride. Sitting her down in the little car he shut the door and sat down across from her, wanting to comfort her but not knowing exactly how.

"I always end up making you sad.."

"Frustrated and angry right now. And sad.."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just wanted to treat you. To buy you lunch since you paid for admission.."

"And check out other girls?"

"Huh?"

She looked up at him, expression a mixture of sadness and anger. "I noticed. Did you think I wouldn't?" Shaking her head she ran the back of a hand across her face to brush away tears she was too proud to shed. Bewildered he stared at her for a moment - then understood. _Mwu, you moron... _Murrue hiccupped and squeezed her eyes closed, giving him an opportunity to move across and sit beside her, pulling her into his arms as he did so.

"Did you think that was what I was doing?"

"What else would I think?"

He kissed the crown of her hair. "How about I was thinking how much more beautiful you were than them?"

She hiccupped again. "Nice try."

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"No.." She looked up at him and blinked away the last of her tears. "But anyone would try an excuse like that. I'm not stupid.."

"Sweetheart, no-one would ever accuse you of that. I wouldn't lie to you, especially about something like that. Do you trust me?"

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "Too much. Unfortunately you could tell me anything you wanted and I'd probably believe you. Whatever the reason, if I see you doing something like that again, you'll regret it. Understand?"

"Perfectly."

Murrue kissed him lightly. "Good."

"So I'm forgiven?"

"For now." She peeked out of the window at the park below them and grinned. "You brought me on the ferris wheel? How romantic."

"Glad you think so. Want to stay here for a bit?" In response she hopped up to sit on his lap, murmuring contentedly when he wound his arms around her waist to hold her close. Relieved he'd been forgiven he sighed. _Lucky escape... _He cared for her far too much to let her go.

What seemed like only five minutes later she opened her eyes...and gasped. "Oh.."

"Pretty, isn't it?"

Rubbing her eyes she turned and directed a glare at him in the half-darkness. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

His smile was as disarming as always. "Because you looked so cute."

She huffed. "So much for spending the day together."

"We have." Tipping her chin up with a finger Mwu brushed his nose against hers before catching her lips in a gentle kiss that sent fireworks through her, fingers and toes tingling. "There now," he said softly. "Is that better?"

"Mmmm, I don't know. You might need to do that again.." Which he did quite happily, fingers curled in her hair to bring her closer. She closed her eyes and let him do as he wanted, a soft purr echoing in the back of her throat as his lips trailed down her neck.

"Does this make up for it?" he asked between kisses, and she giggled, tilting her head to the side to let him kiss her more. _This more than makes up for it... _Maybe he was stubborn and irritating, but she loved him no less for it. And one day she would tell him.

"Can we stay here a bit longer?"

He kissed the back of her neck gently. "Sure. I brought something for you too.." Digging in the bag he'd brought he tugged out a very clumsily wrapped box and handed it to her with a bashful grin. "I hope you like it.." With a smile of her own she pulled off the paper, not able to hide her smile.

"Is this another of the things you were going to leave?"

He nodded shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Is it okay?"

"It's lovely." It was a jewellery box, covered in rose-patterned silk and lined with red velvet. "Thank you very much.." He beamed and kissed her again, settling further back on his lap to watch the stars through the windows of the ferris wheel's car. They'd have to go home eventually, but for now she could stay here in the arms of the one she loved.

"Don't let me fall asleep again."

"I'd carry you home."

"I mean it."

He nodded and rested his chin on her shoulder, murmuring endearments while stroking her arms gently. Murrue smiled and closed her eyes to listen to the comforting sound. _Five more minutes, and we'll get going..._

Five minutes later, she was fast asleep.

* * *

( long chapter is long

please read and review! )


	7. Chapter 7

"Waiting for him?"

She smiled but didn't answer, just gazed ahead at the ocean and the setting sun. The others had long since gone home, but Erica had come out last to lock up and find her still there, sitting on the wall waiting for her loved one. Shouldering her bag the older woman moved to sit beside her friend. "I'll keep you company."

Murrue raised an eyebrow. "You just want to know the details."

She pretended to pout. "What do you take me for?"

"Nosy."

"You're so mean. All I want to know is if you're happy.."

"I am. We are.." Noticing something on the beach the younger woman smiled and pointed to a figure running full-tilt along the sand. "Even if one of us would be late for anything.."

"Is he a good kisser?"

Murrue pinked. "Judge for yourself." The figure reached the steps and ran up them two at a time before almost collapsing in exhaustion at their feet. The young woman smiled in unmistakeable fondness, threading her fingers through his rumpled blonde curls until he got his breath back. "Did you run all the way from the boat?"

"I promised you I'd be here.."

"You did, and thank you." Seemingly forgetting Erica was there she leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Lacus-san made you stay behind?"

"I had to help bath the kids. And they kept splashing me so I had to go change.." He looked sulky, but Erica suspected he'd actually enjoyed himself. Murrue had mentioned one day that he very much liked the orphan children, most likely because he himself was still a child at heart. _It means he'll probably be a good father one day, and I don't doubt Murrue's already thought of that... _Her friend was smiling gently, cheeks tinged ever so slightly pink...oh yes, she'd thought about it.

"Go on now, the pair of you. Go date, or whatever it is you're doing tonight."

"She's making me dinner," La Fllaga announced cheerfully, helping his girlfriend to her feet and hugging her tightly. "And I'm staying at her place."

"Oh, really?" That caused a raised eyebrow and a glance at Murrue, who was absolutely scarlet.

"On the sofa," she mumbled, hiding her face in her companion's shirt.

"Still, he's staying the night. How long have you been dating now? A month, six weeks?"

La Fllaga just grinned. "Maybe I'm irresistible."

"Maybe you're an idiot.." was the murmured reply from his shirt. "Or maybe I am.."

Erica grinned. "I'd say idiots deserve each other, and if you're happy, then that's all you need." The man nodded happily and managed to peel Murrue off him, instead taking her hand. She was still blushing but she did smile rather shyly, scuffing her toe on the ground.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Have fun, and don't stay up too late, there's a lot of work to do tomorrow."

Murrue nodded and smiled up at her boyfriend, who wound an arm around her shoulders and kissed her gently. The older woman grinned to see how her friend reacted, the pink cheeks and dark eyes closed in bliss - it was clear La Fllaga was a _very_ good kisser. Picking up her bag she quietly slipped away, the couple so absorbed in each other they never noticed.

* * *

"What are you dreaming about?"

She smiled. "Who says I'm dreaming?"

"I know that look. Your mind's somewhere else. Are you thinking about me?"

"Didn't I say your ego was big enough already? If I told you I was thinking about you your head would end up the size of a beach ball."

"It would not..." He grumbled softly, sounding so like a child she had to laugh. They'd eaten, homemade burgers with everything, (he'd had at least three) and were now lying on one of her sunloungers half-dozing under the stars. Mwu's arms were firmly wrapped around her waist, his legs entangled with hers...it was a very nice feeling, and she was trying very hard not to fall asleep. _It just feels too good to be with him like this... _She stifled a yawn, wrinkling her nose at his soft laughter. "If you're tired, then go to sleep.."

"Want to stay awake." Stretching out comfortably she raised a hand to trace patterns between the stars, smiling when he caught her hand and kissed the fingers. She loved to sit out here and watch the heavens, and the spectacle was all the better with good company.

"If we see a shooting star, what do we wish for?"

"Anything you want."

"If I see one," he announced, "I know what I'll wish for. To stay here with you for always."

Murrue blinked, surprised. "Really?"

He chuckled. "Of course. I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be."

Turning around in his embrace she kissed him lightly. "That's very sweet of you. But I think we'd drive each other crazy."

"You think so? I think we'd be happy. I know _I_ would be." He skimmed a hand up her back and curled his fingers in her hair, stroking the back of her neck as he did so. Her eyes fluttered closed at the gentle touch, a soft purr echoing in the back of her throat. Noticing this reaction he laughed again quietly and continued the attention until she almost forgot where she was. "You like that, huh?" She smiled hazily and half-opened her eyes, though she didn't really see much, and snuggled closer until her nose brushed against his. Accepting her invitation he kissed her again, calloused hand slipping under her T-shirt to brush against her back as his lips trailed down her neck, and managed a rather breathless laugh as she squirmed to get closer.

"Easy there, princess.."

She smiled, the expression now more wicked than dazed, and squirmed a little more to earn a soft groan. "Only fair.."

"Fair if you want me to get a cold shower, or I'll never be able to sleep tonight.."

"How do you think _I_ feel?"

"Oh, I know very well how _you_ feel. But we can't."

She frowned slightly. "Why can't we?"

"Because.." _Why can't we? She's all I thought about for eighteen months, and I won't lie that I never thought about __**this**__. But I've only been here with her for six weeks - it's not long enough, no matter how much we want it. _"Just because." Her expression said it all, dark eyes filled with sorrow, corners of her mouth turned down, and he sighed, reaching up to brush fingertips against flushed cheeks. "Don't look like that.."

"Will you still stay here?"

"I will." It wouldn't be easy however. Things had changed...their relationship had changed. He loved her, he knew that now, and would like nothing more than to prove it to her. But things weren't that simple. He had just eight more weeks left of his shoreleave...if he and Murrue got closer, wouldn't it just hurt them more when he had to leave? _I don't even know when I'll get to see her again... _Sitting up he hugged her tightly, breathing in the floral scent of her hair. "I'm sorry.."

"Idiot.." She touched her nose to his. "You don't need to be sorry. Unless you have a girl in every port."

The idea surprised him. "You think I would?"

"No, I don't. Because I wouldn't let you."

Mwu smiled. "I have a possessive girlfriend."

"Yep." She ran a finger down his cheek. "And you don't need to sleep on the sofa."

"I do though. If I slept in your bed, even if sleeping was all we did - which it would be - your chaperone would kill me."

"I can handle Erica."

"I don't doubt it. But _I_ can't." Murrue giggled. "I'm serious. I can't even handle _you_ sometimes."

_I hope tonight isn't going to be awkward..._

* * *

"Hey, Murrue! You have that report ready yet?"

Her friend didn't answer. Chin resting on one hand she stared into space, eyes half-closed. After a moment her lips curved in a dreamy smile. Erica sighed and palmed her face, having a pretty good idea what the younger woman was thinking about. Or rather, _who_ she was thinking about. She'd watched her best friend and the handsome blonde man grow closer and closer as the weeks had passed, Murrue spending more and more time with him outside her work, and wasn't at all surprised to see her dreaming about him now. All the same... "Murrue?"

"Hmm? Oh, Erica!" Flustered, Murrue grabbed at her papers, managing to knock them off the desk to scatter all over the floor. The older woman smiled and swept them together, doing her best not to laugh.

"Does he know you dream about him like this?"

Her friend blushed vivid scarlet, hiding her face in the sheaf of paper. "No..."

"Are they at night too?"

A small nod.

"_Now_ I know why you're late for work sometimes."

Another nod.

Erica sighed and perched on the end of the desk. "If you want to be closer to him why not just tell him? The poor boy isn't a mindreader.."

"He knows," was the mumbled reply. "But he won't. I know he wants it too, but he just won't. And he won't tell me why.."

"Maybe he's just surprised? He probably expected you to be all shy about it.."

Murrue smiled a little. "I had eighteen months to decide what I wanted, and I made up my mind that the next time I saw him I'd let him know how I felt."

"And have you?"

She sighed. "I thought I had, but maybe he doesn't feel the same way.."

Erica clucked softly. "He loves you. Everyone can see it. You musn't worry about _that_.."

"Maybe he doesn't love me that way.."

"I've seen the way he looks at you. You have nothing to worry about, believe me. I'd say that he has some other reason...maybe he doesn't want it to hurt you both more when he has to leave?"

"Maybe.."

The older woman smiled and ruffled her friend's hair. "If you're sure of what you want, then let him know. Go get him, and stop wishing for it. I can't afford to have one of my best workers spending all her time daydreaming."

She laughed. "Right."

The day was a perfect one. Holding tightly to his hand she led him along the tiny coastal path, hiding a smile at his decidedly nervous expression. The path snaked along the clifftop, which became rather high in places, and it further reinforced her belief that her supposedly fearless pilot was afraid of heights...but she wouldn't tease him any more about it. Everyone had things they were scared of. As they climbed up the path she heard him grumble softly to himself.

"We'll be there in a couple of minutes.."

"You promise? That kid was smirking."

"Only because he knows where we're going. It's too dangerous for the orphans, so it's a very good place if you want to be completely alone." Tugging him up the path she pointed. "There look." Stretched out below was a crescent-shaped beach, tucked away so well between the cliffs that you could walk within metres of it and never see it. Mwu whistled in appreciation and she grinned, pulling him the rest of the way. Completely alone they would be. She'd spent two weeks dreaming...and that was enough.

On the beach she set down the picnic bag she'd brought and passed something from it to him. "Here. Blow that up."

"Beach ball?"

"Yep." Obediently he took the ball and began to inflate it, bouncing it off her head when it was done.

"There we go, milady."

"Thank you." Picking it up she threw it back to him. "Want a swim?"

"Now I see why you asked me to wear swim shorts. I hope that water's warm."

"Warm enough." Lifting her sundress over her head she walked down to the water's edge and dipped her toes in the surf, lips curving in a triumphant grin at his intake of breath. Exactly what she'd hoped for. Brushing a lock of hair over her shoulder she peeked at him. "Aren't you coming?"

"Uhhh..." _If I get my breath back, then maybe... _How was he supposed to concentrate when she was wearing something like that? Not to say he hadn't dreamed of seeing her in a bikini, but not even in his dreams had she been wearing one like _that._ The red fabric barely covered her - where she'd gotten something like that he had no idea, but it was much appreciated. Maybe a little too much. Trying not to give himself away he placed a towel on his lap, knowing he'd failed when her dark eyes slanted in umistakeable mischief. She'd known.

"You planned this."

Murrue smiled and walked back toward him, sitting down on a towel she spread out on the sand. "Did I?"

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "You're not making this easy for me.."

"That was the plan." Shuffling closer she kissed him gently. She smelled of sun cream, roses and warm skin...and he was lost. Despite his best intentions, his resistance faltered and he returned the kiss passionately, throwing caution to the wind. What happened next he wasn't quite sure, but a soft whimper from her snapped him out of the daze he'd been in. She was lying beneath him, breathing deeply, but she was smiling. Curling an arm around his neck she brought him closer, gazing up at him with undisguised affection and happiness. "It's all right.."

"No, it isn't.." Mustering all the willpower he had he pulled away, feeling instantly guilty when her smile faded, the happiness in those eyes becoming confusion and sadness.

"Why isn't it?" He didn't answer, just sat up and stared out to sea. He wanted it more than anything. - the dreams he'd been having were driving him crazy - but the closer they got the more it would hurt when he eventually had to say goodbye. She closed her eyes and sighed, rubbing at her still flushed face. "When you act like this it makes me wonder how you feel about me.."

"That's not it. I just..." He shook his head. "I only have six weeks left. If we get too close, what'll happen when I have to go?"

"I'll be very sad, but I'd rather there be no regrets."

_No regrets...would I regret it? Going back there, knowing what we could have had but gave up? Could I do that? _Looking back at his girlfriend he smiled a little, taking her hand and bringing it close for a kiss. "Did you really think I didn't feel that way about you? That I hadn't thought about it?"

She crinkled her nose. "You keep all your cards close to your chest. I never know what you're thinking.."

"Is that right? Well then.." Leaning close he kissed her gently. "Let me tell you what I'm thinking right now.." He whispered in her ear, grinning in triumph when her eyes fluttered closed and she shivered. After a moment she gazed back up at him, looking decidedly dazed.

"If you were thinking _that_, why do you keep pulling away?"

"Like I said, I didn't know whether it was the right thing to do.."

"And now?"

"Now.." Mwu brushed a hand slowly over her bare stomach. "I think differently." She purred in bliss at the touch, amber eyes alight with happiness, and held out a hand to bring him close but he shook his head. "But not out here. Oh, I know very well that you planned all this, but even the most private beach isn't totally private. We have fun out here, then later I come over to your house, okay?"

Murrue nodded happily. "Okay."

* * *

_Calm down, idiot! _Shaking her head she forced herself to stop pacing, but she could do nothing about the bubbles of excitement or the pounding of her heart. She'd already had to stop herself looking out of the window every minute or so - when he'd walked her here he'd promised he'd be back, and she had no reason to doubt him - she'd already showered and washed off the sand and seawater from their games on the beach, and was now as ready as she'd ever be. Taking a sip of her wine (Dutch courage?) she leaned back against the kitchen counter. _I hope I'm doing the right thing. Erica said that I had to go and get what I wanted...that it wasn't like me to shy away from something. I've dreamed of it, almost every night I've dreamed of it, but does that make it right? _She was distracted from her worried thoughts by a faint patter on the roof above her, which to her dismay steadily became a loud drumming. Rain.

"I hope that doesn't mean he's not coming over.."

But she needn't have worried. About ten minutes later (which felt like ten hours) he appeared at the front door, breathing hard from running and absolutely soaked to the skin. Seeing her there he grinned and pushed a lock of wet hair out of his eyes. "Here I am, just as I promised." He held up his hands. "I'm all yours."

"Is that right? I think the first thing we'd better do is get you dried off. Follow me." Taking his hand she led him to the bathroom and pushed him inside. "Towels to the left, wet clothes in the laundry hamper."

"What do I wear instead?" Then a moment later. "Dumb question. Never mind." Murrue giggled and disappeared into her room to prepare the last part of her plan, twirling around on the spot in sheer delight before closing the curtains against the dismal evening.

"Ready..." he called out rather hesitantly."

"In here!"

He peeked in with a smile...which was instantly replaced with a look of shocked awe. "Murrue..."

"Yes?"

He chuckled. "Get that from the same place you got the bikini?"

"Maybe." Suddenly embarrassed she glanced down at her lap. She'd bought the nightgown on a dare from Erica, the style a little too abbreviated for her taste, but today... Seeing her mood change Mwu walked over and sat on the bed beside her, brushing gentle calloused fingers against her cheek.

"It's all right, sweetheart. If you don't..."

"No, I _do_. More than anything. It's just...is it really okay?"

In reply he kissed her. She managed a startled squeak which quickly became a sigh of bliss, she winding arms around his neck to bring him closer. It was passionate, furious and desperate...he'd finally stopped holding back. When they broke for air she gazed up at him, heart racing as his hand crept underneath the hem of her dress to caress the bare skin. She wanted to speak but her voice refused to work, unspoken words becoming a soft sigh as his fingers moved higher.

"Your towel's coming unravelled," she managed to say, reaching down to clasp it together...then smiled. "Ah. That's why."

"Sorry.."

"Don't be." She made short work of the fabric, letting it fall to the floor before wriggling out from underneath him.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere." Laughing she pushed him flat to the bed and hopped up to sit astride his lap. "But you said you were all mine, right?" He grinned and nodded, watching her with a seductive eye as she studied him. Almost without thinking she brushed fingertips against the broadly muscled chest, dark eyes bright with amusement and her own brand of seduction at his quiet groan.

"You're killing me.."

"Am I?" Moving a little closer she brushed a hand lower, giggling when he shuddered. "Poor thing.."

"Any more of that out of you and.."

"And you'll what?"

"You know what."

Murrue grinned, enjoying this game and knowing very well where it would lead. "Do I?" She squirmed a little, eyes fluttering closed at the feelings it caused. Such were the tensions that had built up between them that things probably wouldn't last long, but that was all right. This had been waiting too long to happen. Opening her eyes she smiled down at him, telling him without words what she wanted, and he replied in kind.

He watched her sleep. Lying on his side in the plush white bed, back to the approaching dawn, he just watched her. The covers had dropped to her waist, pale skin illuminated by the thin sliver of moonlight through the curtain...she was perfect. He'd told her so in between kisses and she'd laughed, winding slender fingers in his hair.

_"You could flatter a girl to death.."_

_"Not any girl," _he'd replied, voice muffled as he'd ducked his head under the covers to kiss more of her. _"Just you.." _She hadn't retorted at that, he remembered, not with words anyway. But she _was_ perfect, and beautiful, and all of those things, and he'd finally been able to tell her. Shuffling a little closer, being careful not to wake her - she'd only just fallen asleep after all - he brushed a lock of hair aside and kissed her cheek before settling down beside her. Murrue smiled in her sleep and snuggled close to him as he wound an arm around her waist, murmuring something under her breath that made him smile back.

"Yeah, sweetheart. Love you too."

* * *

( smutsmutsmutsmut

please read and review! )


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, Murrue?"

"Mmmm?" Rousing herself she smiled up at him, eyelids heavy. "What is it?" He smiled back and nuzzled close to her, peppering her neck with kisses she was too tired to fight. "Is that all you wanted?"

"Partly," he replied, voice muffled. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to go out to dinner with me again.."

She stifled a yawn and a giggle as his lips tickled. "That sounds nice. Where can we go this time?"

"Anywhere you want. Is there somewhere you and the Director and the others go?"

"Mmmm..." Lulled by his voice and kisses and almost asleep, she barely heard him. It had been a long day occupied by work and his affection, and right now sleep sounded pretty good. Mwu seemed to understand, tucking the comforter around her and flicking off the lamp before settling down beside her, and she snuggled close with a contented sigh. In the last few days she'd been happier than she'd ever thought possible. The day after he'd spent that night with her he'd gone over to Kira-kun's house and collected his things - the two of them having decided he should spend the time he had left with her - and he'd been here ever since. He was a bit of a trial to live with...he was so _messy_. But he was also gentle, kind, always able to make her laugh, and she adored him. _And he's not half bad either... _Closing her eyes with a smile she drifted off to sleep.

"What am I going to do with you?"

If she knew, she wasn't telling. Instead she just cuddled a little closer, and he sighed in affectionate amusement. Not that he blamed her for being sleepy...it _was_ pretty late, and they'd been occupied with dinner and each other since she'd gotten home. Pressing a kiss to the crown of her hair he gazed up at the stars through the half-open curtains, the same thoughts as always returning. _I wish I could stay here forever. I wish this could be our home, not just hers. I wish this could be my life... _Getting it was pretty simple - he just had to leave the Alliance. Easier said than done. He had a career, a role, a part to play. And yet... He glanced back down at his sleeping lover. Look what they'd done to her. Betrayed her and her crew...brushed them aside like trash. The strongest and bravest person he knew had been abandoned by their superiors and left to die...did he owe them any loyalty?

"What do I do? Either way it feels like I'd be giving up too much. If I don't go back I have to start over, but if I do...I don't know when I'd be able to see you again. I know you'd wait for me, but I'd rather not put your life on hold like that. You deserve to have a life, a home, a family without waiting for a dumb soldier who can't decide what's more important.." Murrue mumbled something in her sleep as though agreeing with him, and he chuckled softly. "And you were always smarter than me.." Kissing her again he brought her a little closer and closed his eyes. "I'll figure it out in the end.."

Early the next morning he woke to see her flitting around the room in the half-darkness, jacket tucked under an arm as she busied herself getting ready for work. For a moment he watched her with a drowsy smile, then when she came close to find her hairbrush he caught her hand and pulled her down to him.

"Morning, beautiful."

"Now why are you awake? It's seven in the morning.."

"Can I come with you?" The light was just enough for him to make out the adorable crinkle of her nose as she considered that.

"I suppose you _could_, but you'd have to be on your best behaviour. I have a lot to do today, so if you distract me too much you'll be on the sofa tonight."

"That's so mean."

She kissed the tip of his nose. "I know. But I really do have a lot of work. Not to mention Erica's very strict about romance in the workplace. So you might find yourself out on your ear if you try anything.."

"Would I be allowed to kiss you?"

"Now, or later?"

"Both."

"If you kiss me now, we'll see about later."

"Mmm.." He wrapped an arm around her waist and brought her a little closer, brushing lips ever so gently against hers. "That sounds like a good deal. So," he murmured between kisses, "can I be your assistant for the day?"

"Will you pass me my tools and make me coffee then?"

Mwu chuckled and rolled over in the bed, trapping her beneath him. "So, 'assistant' means 'gopher'?

"Pretty much. Disappointed?"

"Not at all." Nuzzling close he kissed her neck, breathing in the rose scent. "As long as I get a reward.."

Murrue giggled, reaching up to tangle a hand in his overlong hair. "Now would that reward be food-based or something else?"

"You decide."

"There's a shop not far from work that does chocolate pudding. We can go for that after we're done. Now don't look like that," she scolded gently when he pouted, "you've had your own way all week. Come on now, if you want to come with me you have to get dressed."

* * *

"What did you bring _him_ for?"

She smiled, escorting her rather nervous boyfriend into the building. "Because he asked. And he's promised to behave himself, so don't worry. He's going to be my assistant."

Erica raised her eyebrows. "Behave himself, huh? You make sure he does."

"She doesn't like me," Mwu grumbled once the older woman was out of earshot.

"Actually, she does. She told me she thinks you're good for me."

"Aren't _you_ the one who's good for _me_?"

"Perhaps it's both?"

He frowned slightly, then nodded. "Maybe." Taking her hand he let her lead him to her office where she left her bag and jacket, then to the noise and bustle of the main hangar. He whistled, clearly impressed. "Nice. And you're in charge of all this?"

"That's right. Now remember. While you're here, you have to call me 'Maria'. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Right." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed him on the cheek. "Now, my handsome assistant, while I make sure everyone's in the right place, go make me a cup of coffee."

"I will. But only because you called me 'handsome'."

When he'd sauntered off toward the cafeteria Murrue smiled and reached for her clipboard, scanning the work orders for that day. She herself would be working on the engine of the biggest ship, a task that would take most of the day to complete, so it was probably a good thing he was there to help out. _Although what kind of 'help' he'll be I'm really not sure.. _

"Miss Maria?"

Smiling at the young voice she turned around to see one of the junior technicians. "Yes?"

"Did you bring a friend with you today?"

"Yes. He's staying with me for a while, and I let him come with me today. Don't pay him any mind."

The little technician blushed slightly. "He's very handsome.."

Murrue giggled. "Yes, he is, but don't tell him. He's fond enough of himself as it is."

They continued chatting cheerfully for a little while until Mwu returned with two mugs of coffee, one of which he presented to her with a kiss before tipping a wink to the technician. The junior flushed scarlet and scuttled away. Murrue elbowing him in the ribs so hard he almost spilled his drink. "Ow.."

"Stop flirting."

He grinned. "Why milady, are you jealous?"

She huffed and stalked off, he following closely and trying not to laugh.

_What's he up to? _On the gantry above Shipbuilding Section B a pair of hawk-like blue eyes were watching the pair work on the ship. True to his word, La Fllaga was behaving himself, sitting on a packing crate beside Murrue passing her tools when she asked for them. To all outward appearances he was being a perfect gentleman, but Erica knew better. She had better eyesight than most and could easily make out the twinkle in his eyes, and the rakish grin that flashed over his face when Murrue bent down. _That boy has mischief in mind. I'd better keep an eye on him..._

"I know you're watching me."

"Am I?"

She turned around and frowned playfully. "Yes, you are. And while it's far from unpleasant, it _is_ very distracting. So stop it."

The blonde man chuckled softly, getting up to stand beside her. "Ah, but I happen to know you like it. You know how I know?" Very carefully he brushed his hands down her sides causing her to almost drop the wrench she held. "That's how."

"I said stop it..."

"Did you?" He nibbled at her neck gently until she squirmed, colour racing to her cheeks.

"Yes..." she murmured, though a smile curved her lips. "And I also told you...that you'd be on the sofa if you didn't behave.."

"Did you say that too? I forgot..." He tugged her into a dark corner, still peppering her skin with kisses. Murrue made one last feeble attempt to push him away but her arms just ended up curled around his neck, knees too weak to hold her up anymore...especially when he started whispering things in her ear that made her shiver in excitement. Taking a deep breath she gazed up at him through glazed amber eyes.

"Mwu..."

He smiled gently and kissed her on the tip of her nose. "Which tool do you want next?"

"Huh?"

"Your work. Which tool do you want? Or do you want some coffee?" At her astonished expression he ruffled her hair and went to sit back on the packing crate, leaving her to try and work out what had just happened. He'd gotten her all riled up like that then just left her to deal with those feelings? Running a hand over her face she cursed under her breath at the heat in her cheeks before turning around and trying to get back to work.

But it was no use. His suggestions still echoed in her ears, causing her concentration to be shot to hell...and worst of all, he knew it. She glared over her shoulder at him, but he just smiled seductively.

"Why do I love you so much? You drive me crazy."

Mwu just smiled again and got up to join her, brushing a hand over the back of her neck. "What do you want to do?"

She shook her head with a sigh. "I know what _you_ want to do. That clipboard doesn't hide it too well."

"You shouldn't be so beautiful."

"Don't you blame me for this." Taking his hand she led him inside the ship, checking various places until she came across a small storage room. He just raised an eyebrow as she pushed him inside and locked the door behind them. "What's the expression for? You're the one who wanted this."

"In here?"

"Why not? Good a place as any." Placing a hand on his chest she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him gently. "Are you complaining?"

"Not at all." He moved to sit on a packing crate and held out a hand, pulling her down to sit on his lap. It was difficult to say which one of them was more eager, breathless whispers mixed with kisses and laughter, and it was all the better for the risks they were taking. No-one was around, or would care if they did, but they kept as quiet as possible, she burying her face in his jacket to stifle her cries.

"We can't do this again. Not here.."

He laughed quietly, stroking her hair to calm her. "Could be our love nest."

"It's a bit of a poky one. Not to mention what'll happen if we get caught.."

"It might be fun. Besides, I rather like this naughty side of yours. You always were a risk-taker, but I didn't expect anything like this.."

She kissed him. "You're welcome."

"Can I see it more often?"

Her answer was another kiss and a wicked smile. "Wait until we get home."

* * *

( the ending was bleh, but I like naughty Murrue XD

please read and review! )


	9. Chapter 9

"Now who's dreaming?"

"Thinking, not dreaming."

"Same thing." She knelt down beside him and wound slender arms around his shoulders, her warmth and scent providing some comfort for him. He had been thinking, and dreaming. Thinking about going back, and staying here...dreaming of what he wanted but wasn't sure he could ever have. He had to choose, but _what_ to choose? Was it even possible? He'd put a lot into his career to just give it up, but was it more important than her? _I want to ask her but don't know how to. I don't want to remind her that I only have a week left with her... _Instead he reached up to catch her hands in his, pressing kisses to the fingertips.

"I love you, you know."

He felt her smile, felt the kiss to his cheek. "I love you too. What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing important. Mind just wandering is all." Perhaps knowing he wasn't being entirely truthful she kissed him again and settled down with her head on his shoulder in order to watch the view with him. Her garden looked out over the ocean to the west, and the spectacle of the sky and sea as the sun set was one they made time for most evenings. She murmured contentedly when he rubbed her back and shuffled a little closer, her presence filling him with the same sense of peace it always did.

"You were thinking about what happens when shoreleave is over, weren't you?"

He chuckled softly. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Know exactly what I'm thinking."

Murrue laughed. "Because I know _you_. You've been quiet for hours, and that's not like you. I knew you had something on your mind."

"You can read me that well after just five weeks together? Will I ever be able to hide anything from you?"

"No."

He grumbled a little but had to smile, feeling an odd sense of security at the thought that she knew him better than anyone else. Few people if any had ever gotten that close to him - he'd never _wanted_ anyone to be that close. But Murrue was different. She was almost like the other half of him, able to tell how he was thinking and feeling, and he loved her more than anyone. Kissing her gently he tugged her onto his lap, arms wrapped tightly around her waist. "I've never met anyone like you."

"I should hope not."

"You know what I mean. Love isn't something I'm used to feeling."

Murrue smiled. "Is it any good?"

"You bet it is." _Better than I ever imagined... _"I never told you, did I?"

"About what?"

"The past.." He felt as though he should tell her...people this close shouldn't keep secrets from each other after all. And she was the first person he'd ever _wanted_ to tell.

She squeezed his hand. "The past doesn't matter. Only here and now. You're here, I'm here, and we're happy. Okay?"

"Okay." Another thing he wasn't used to...complete acceptance. It didn't matter to her what he did, what he'd done, she just accepted and loved him for who he was. Unusual, but very nice. "Will you come out with me tomorrow?"

"Where to?"

"Anywhere. To the beach, to a cafe, anywhere you'd like to go."

"Cafe sounds nice. That one on the promenade with the parasols and the cream soda."

"Then we'll go there."

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

* * *

The day was perfect. The sky was dotted with wispy white clouds, and the ocean breeze took the edge off the heat, which her companion seemed to greatly appreciate. Almost three months he'd been here, and while he was slowly getting used to the climate here, sometimes the heat did knock him sideways. She noticed the flushed cheeks, the hair stuck to the forehead, and leaned into him as they walked. "You should be here in monsoon season."

He brightened a little at that. "I like rain."

"But almost non-stop rain? And top of the scale humidity?"

He looked genuinely horrified for a moment, then recovered himself. "Your house has air conditioning. I'd be fine."

"So you'd be able to put up with it?"

"If you were with me, I could handle anything."

Murrue blushed and punched his arm out of embarrassment. He always managed to fluster her like that, yet sound completely truthful at the same time. His smile was a honest one as she'd expected, like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, but she couldn't help believing him. "Idiot."

"I love you too."

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "How big a cream soda would you like?"

"Which is the biggest one they do?"

"You and your stomach.."

Mwu managed to look both mischievous and little-boy-innocent at the same time. "Are you accusing me of eating a lot?"

"Would I do that?"

"Yes."

She huffed, pretending to scowl. "Fine then." Pulling her hand from his she stalked off down the promenade, not looking back when he called her name (or at least her alias). She knew he wouldn't leave it at that however, and wasn't disappointed when he caught up to her and scooped her into his arms. "Put me down. People are watching."

"Let them watch." He kissed her gently, taking his time until she forgot she was trying to be mad at him, forgot how he teased her, and even forgot where she was. When he finally let her go she gazed up at him for a moment before reality reasserted itself and she sighed, palming her face.

"You'll never change, will you?"

A cheeky grin. "Would you love me as much if I did?"

"No, I don't think I would.." _He is who he is. He already tried once to be someone he wasn't, and I didn't like that someone nearly as much... _Murrue took his arm and walked with him to the cafe, leaning into him with a smile. Mwu chuckled gently.

"Am I forgiven?"

"Aren't you always? One kiss, one smile, and I forgive you for anything." Even for leaving. Both of them knew well how little time together they had left, but hadn't spoken much about it - she hadn't even wanted to think about it. The thought of losing him for who knew how long hurt terribly, but she'd borne it in silence...she'd never ask him to choose between her and his career. If he wanted to go back she wouldn't stop him. _But I will wait for him. However long it takes, I'll wait.. _And for now, she'd enjoy the time they had left.

"Hey.." Seeing his concern she realised her sadness must have showed on her face, and tried to hide it with a smile, but it was too late. Mwu sighed and pulled her close, resting his chin on the top of her head and stroking her hair. "Give me the word. Just tell me, and I'll stay here."

"You know I wouldn't do that.."

"I know, but I wish you would. Give me a chance to not have to 'do the right thing', whatever that is. Give me a chance to be selfish and have what I want."

Murrue smiled into his chest. "And what is it you want, Colonel?"

He sighed. "I don't know that yet. Either, or, or both. But I can only choose one, can't I?"

"Not neccessarily. If you do go back, I'll..."

"Don't say it." He pulled away slightly to look down at her, blue eyes full of pain. "Don't say you'll wait for me. I don't want you to. I don't know when or even if I'd be back. You deserve better than that."

She shook her head and placed a finger on his lips. "Tell me, if the situations were reversed, if I was the one who had to leave for who knew how long, would _you_ wait for _me_?"

"You're not playing fair."

"Answer the question."

Mwu quirked a smile. "Of course I would."

"And you're saying I shouldn't?"

He grinned, shook his head and hugged her again. "I don't deserve you, do I?"

"No, but you're stuck with me. Now let's go get that cream soda."

* * *

A few days later he was sitting on the doorstep of her house again, watching her work on her garden. He helped her out sometimes with the weeds, watering the dozens of roses she'd grown and even mowing the lawn on occasion. It was simple, homely and rather domestic...and he enjoyed it immensely. The idea of settling down here with her, of spending the rest of his life with her...it was extremely tempting. As he watched she noticed him and smiled, the expression turning his insides to mush. If he'd never left at Alaska, stayed on _Archangel_, would they still have been together like this? _I'd like to think we would have been. I realised the day I left how I felt about her, and how much I was giving up...I wish I'd gone back and told her..._

"Do you grow anything you can eat in this garden?"

Murrue grinned and pushed back the straw sunhat she wore. "If you're a bee or a butterfly, then yes."

"Aw, no food?"

She put her hands on her hips. "I thought you didn't like salad?"

He chuckled and was about to make some smart comment when suddenly his cellphone rang. Picking it up he answered softly, knowing who it would be. "You're sure then? I can't stay longer?" Across the garden his girlfriend's face fell, she biting her lip and looking away. They both knew what this call meant, and what would happen now - they'd been dreading it. "All right. I'll be there.." Ending the call he held out a hand, bringing her close as she came to sit by him.

"How long?"

"He said the boat will be here at seven tonight." Murrue closed her eyes and hugged him tightly, perhaps knowing he needed the comfort as much as she did. Five hours left. They'd known today would be the last day - they'd barely slept the night before, preferring to spend as much time as they could together. Hours talking, hours in each other's arms, but it still wasn't enough. He'd never be able to get quite enough of her. As he held her close she hiccupped, a few tears escaping to soak into his shirt. "Sweetheart..."

"I'm okay.." Rubbing her face she smiled up at him. "See?" Her eyes were puffy, cheeks tearstained...her smile was fooling no-one and she probably knew that, but she'd always been the same. She could be dying inside and she'd still smile, unwilling to let anyone know how much she was hurting - unless they knew how to see it. _And I was always able to see it.. _Without saying anything more he brought her close and kissed her, taking his time to show her how much he loved her. Was he really going to be able to leave her?

"What do you want to do? We could go for a walk, go for ice-cream...anything you want."

"I want to stay here. With you. I don't want to share you with anyone or anything. Not even ice-cream."

Mwu smiled, understanding, and kissed her forehead. "Then I'm all yours." She managed a smile of her own and got to her feet, holding out a hand. He knew what it was she wanted and wasn't about to deny her...to make the most of the time they had left.

"You will keep in touch, won't you?"

He smiled into her shoulder, kissing the smooth skin. "Try and stop me. I'll send you a postcard from everywhere I go."

"Just a postcard?"

"Would you be trying to angle for more gifts, Miss Murrue?" He kissed her neck all the way up to her cheek before stopping at her mouth, which was curved in an impish smile. "Well?"

"Maybe." she replied, moving up to kiss him, but he pulled away. "Come back.."

"What would I have to send you?"

She reached up to brush gentle fingers over his face, lingering on his nose before skimming up through his hair. "Love."

"You always had that."

Murrue nodded slowly. "Yes, I know."

"Do you?"

"I saw it there the day you left. I never forgot it, and I hoped I'd see it again one day." Curling her arms around his neck she brought him close for the kiss she'd been waiting for. "And I'll still remember it." Her smile was lopsided, dark eyes sparkling with tears, but she shook her head at his concern. "I'll be all right."

"I don't know if _I_ will be. Waking up and knowing you're not there's going to be tough as hell. Like I said before, all you have to do is.."

"Is ask you to stay? I can't tell you what to do."

"Then tell me this. What do _you_ want me to do?"

She opened her mouth as if to answer, then closed it again, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears. "This isn't about me."

He wound a lock of her hair around a finger. "This is _all_ about you. Be selfish for a change and tell me what it is you want."

A soft hiccup. "Please don't ask me. Just..." She reached up and hugged him. "Just don't talk."

* * *

"What will you do, Murrue-san?"

She scuffed bare feet in the sand, watching a tiny crab scuttle across the shore. "What else can I do? I'm going to wait for him, even though he told me I shouldn't."

Kira smiled a little. "I thought you might. He's lucky to have you."

She pinked. "That's what _he_ said. I waited eighteen months, I can wait longer."

"But those eighteen months hurt a lot, didn't they?"

"Of course they did. But I know he'll come back. I just...don't know when." Taking a deep breath she swallowed the lump in her throat. The pain was tremendous...all she wanted to do was cry, but she couldn't. Not in front of her friends. Or him. Looking back over her shoulder she saw him there on the porch of the beach house, his duffle bag beside him. He was talking with the orphan children, one hand swooping through the air - probably telling them how far away he'd be going. Some of the kids were crying. _They love him almost as much as I do. Kira-kun tells me that while he was staying here he was the perfect babysitter, never too busy to play soccer or go exploring. Maybe it's because he's still a child himself inside..._

"Are you going to see him off?"

"How can I? If any Alliance soldier recognises me, we'll all be in danger.." She checked her watch. Ten minutes to seven. "But it'll have to be soon.."

"What about up in the clearing? It's a nice place, and far enough away from the dock that you won't be seen.."

"Yes...that'll be nice. Thank you.."

Neither were sure what to say. The clearing in the woods was a beautiful place, tropical trees and flowers competing with each other for spectacle...but she didn't want this to be the last place she saw him for who knew how long. "I'm sorry.."

"For what?"

"For not picking somewhere more special to us to say...to say goodbye."

"This'll work. Because it's not goodbye. It's 'I'll see you soon'." Mwu moved close and wrapped her up tight in a hug. "This is an 'I love you and I'll be back as soon as I can'."

"I love you too. Why did we realise too late?"

He kissed the tip of her nose. "Because we were always meant to get a second chance."

"You think so?"

"I'm sure of it." The sound of the boat approaching cut through the silence of the woods and he sighed, digging in his back pocket. "I have something for you. It's the last of the rose presents I brought. I was waiting for the perfect moment to give it to you, and I guess now's as good a time as any. Open it after I've gone.." It was a small box wrapped in silver paper and immediately aroused her curiosity, but she nodded and slipped it in her pocket, snuggling close to him. "I promise I'll be back soon."

Murrue smiled and swallowed more tears. "You'd better be."

"Now when I make a promise, I keep it. I'll be back before you know it."

"And I'll be here waiting when you are." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed him gently. "Now go on, or you'll be late." Reluctantly he let her go, shouldering his duffle bag and trudging away toward the dock, turning to look back at her with infinite sadness.

_Why are you letting him go? What's wrong with being selfish? You gave him up once, why the hell are you doing it again? _But after blowing one last kiss she turned and walked away, trying her best to ignore the instinct to run after him, to call him back. Instead she felt in her pocket for the gift he'd given her, pulling off the shiny paper and opening the little velvet box inside.

And almost dropped it.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

In the box, resting on a red silk cushion, was a small item of jewellery topped with a tiny silver rose. A ring. It was beautiful, though she could hardly see it for her tears. "Why didn't you ask me before you left?"

"Because I was afraid you'd turn me down."

Whirling around she stared at him dumbly. "Wha..."

He shrugged with an abashed smile. "Couldn't do it. Got as far as one foot on board and I just thought 'what the hell am I doing?' So I ran back here.."

She blinked back her tears, rubbing at her cheeks. "You gave it all up.."

"No, not all. I have you."

"Idiot."

He chuckled. "Would you rather I went back with the others?"

"No." Carefully taking the ring from the box she slipped it onto her left hand, holding it up with a smile. "You're not going anywhere now."

"So I really _am_ all yours?"

"Damn straight." She ran toward him, giggling wildly when he picked her up and twirled her round. She had what she wanted...in fact more than she'd ever dreamed of. And now...now who knew?

"Hey Mwu? Let's go home."

* * *

( ehehehehe

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	10. Chapter 10

Dipping her finger into the batter she tasted it with a smile. Perfect. She'd prepared the chocolate cake mixture as normal before adding a good dose of alcohol to it, knowing he'd like it. His birthday was coming up pretty soon, only the second time she'd been able to be with him for it, and she wanted it to be special. Though for him, it seemed that every day was special. _He gets out of bed like he can't wait to see what'll happen. Not even rain dampens his spirits... _Setting down the wooden spoon she peeked out of the front door, and stifled a giggle. He was there, at the bottom of the garden gazing out to sea, the light breeze ruffling blonde hair. And much to her amusement he was wearing her straw hat. She'd made him wear it until he was used to the heat here, but even though it had been a little over a year now he still wore it

_He never wears shoes unless we're at work, but he'll always wear the hat... _Leaning on the doorframe she watched him for a while, thinking back over everything that had happened. On the day he was supposed to have left he'd proposed (sort of) to her, evidently hoping she _would_ wait as she'd promised though he'd asked her not to. They'd walked back to Kira-kun's house hand-in-hand, and Mwu had been slightly perturbed to realise everyone had expected him to come back. Later they'd sat together on the doorstep of her house watching the stars.

_"The kid says he knew I'd come back. That he knew as soon as I'd gotten here I'd never be able to leave. It's kinda unfair.."_

She'd just smiled. _"I don't know if he knew. I think maybe he hoped. And I'm glad he was right."_

_"What do I do now? They're not going to be too pleased with me.."_

_"Just resign. You don't have to give them the real reason why. But you have to tell them. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder."_

He'd squeezed her hand. _"I will. And I'll take care of you.."_

Ever since then, her home had been theirs. He'd gotten a job at Morgenroete, spending a sort of apprenticeship by her side until he'd learned enough to become a junior technician in his own right, though he still preferred to be with her. It was clear he drove Erica up the wall sometimes, as he often didn't think things through before he did them, and the exuberent way he worked was like being caught in the wake of a tornado.

"But she says you've woken the place up, and that she really can't be mad at you because you've made me so happy.." Scooping up a teaspoon of her cake mixture she set off down the garden, taking his hand as she reached him. He jumped slightly, but grinned, squeezing her hand. His happiness was clear to see, blue eyes shining - he loved it here. He'd told her stories about the time with the Alliance, about his past, and it seemed as though this kind of life was something he wasn't used to. _Now he can have as normal a life as he wants..._

"Daydreaming again?"

"Kinda, yeah. About all sorts of things.."

Murrue smiled and held out the spoonful of batter. "Try that."

"What's in it?"

"Try and see." He did, expression thoughtful, then nodded with that same cheerful grin.

"I taste chocolate. And something else. Did you add some booze to this?" He brushed a finger down a slightly flushed cheek. "And you sampled some yourself I see."

"My cake, only fair I get to try some."

Mwu chuckled. "I didn't mean the cake, princess, I meant the booze."

"Never you mind. What were you dreaming about?"

His smile became faintly sheepish. "Bout what it'll be like. Never been married before.."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is that right?"

"And you know what I mean.." he mumbled. "I was just wondering what it'll be like.."

"Not much different from how it is now. Two rings and a change of surname for me, and that's it."

"You don't have to change it if you don't want to."

She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I want to. So you can have a real family."

Her fiance actually blushed, rubbing the back of his neck the way he always did when he was embarrassed. He didn't say anything, but Murrue knew him well enough to know he was extremely happy. She'd be his family, and perhaps if her secret dreams came true, that family could grow in time. _We've talked about the future, but never about that. I guess we cross that bridge when we come to it... _

"You think you'll like it? Being married I mean."

He smiled. "I think so. Living here like this is great fun already, even if you are a bit strict with me."

"I'm strict because you're so messy. You're learning though."

"Good to hear." He leaned down and kissed her gently, a soft laugh echoing in his throat as she returned the exchange wholeheartedly. No matter how many times they'd kissed since that day under the tree the reactions were always the same, fireworks shooting to her fingertips and toes. He'd said they were always meant to have a second chance, always meant to be together, and though the idea was fanciful it was nice to believe, especially since they seemed to fit so well.

_Maybe we really were meant to be together..._

* * *

"So what do you think?"

"He's learning."

Her best friend smiled. "He's learning a lot of things. Not bad for a pilot.."

"Not bad for an idiot, you mean.." Erica shook her head with a smile of her own. To be fair to La Fllaga, he _was_ learning, and quite quickly at that, and if he continued at this pace he'd be up to his fiancee's level in no time. But sometimes he was a disaster area. If there was something to hit his head on, or something to trip over, he'd find it, resulting in several trips to the infirmary or at least to the first-aid cabinet. Not because he was clumsy, but because he never slowed down. "It's his birthday soon, huh?"

"That's right."

"Get him some weighted boots so he can't run so fast."

Murrue giggled. "Good idea."

"How are the wedding plans coming along? Sure I can't persuade you to make a bigger deal of it?"

"They're coming along fine, and no, you can't. Lacus-san's making us a cake. I already have a dress, and Mwu's saving up for the rings."

"I bet you're looking forward to it."

The younger woman beamed. "Very much. It'll be fun."

"Fun being married to a whirlwind. An adventure, certainly." Erica had to smile. The only times she'd ever seen La Fllaga still was when he was with or near Murrue, blue eyes always watching her. _For him, happiness is a simple thing. If he has her, then he's happy. _He'd take good care of her, there was no doubt about that, and he might even turn out to be a pretty good husband. And just as she'd hoped, her friend would have a happy life. "One thing though."

"What?"

"If he ever makes you cry, he's in trouble."

She found him after work. He was out in the little courtyard garden she'd helped make with the Director, enjoying a bit of peace and quiet before the walk home until he'd felt a pair of warm hands covering his eyes and a soft voice in his ear. "Guess who."

"Someone beautiful." The voice laughed, a familiar much-loved sound, and a moment later he felt a kiss on his cheek.

"And with flattery like that you'd be right every time."

"I'm right anyway," he replied, reaching up to take the small hands in his own. "The most beautiful girl in the world."

"Thank you very much. What do you want for dinner?"

"Takeout. That Chinese place up the road. I was thinking 'romantic night in'." Still holding her hand he pulled her around to sit on his lap, resting his chin on her shoulder. She smelled of her work, of grease and hydraulic oil, but also of the faintest hints of roses and lavender, and he breathed it in happily. "That sound good?"

His fiancee giggled again, leaning back against him. "That depends on what else you have planned. Takeout is fun, but not so romantic on it's own. Unless you had something else in mind.."

"Well..." He whispered in her ear, and grinned when he was rewarded with a shiver. "How does that sound?"

"Can we go home now?"

He kissed the back of her neck. "Of course."

* * *

His plan had involved food then a hot bath, and it was a good thing the takeout had come first, because it would certainly have gone cold. They spent hours in the bathroom, she lazing in the hot water while he washed her back...at least at first. Inevitably his hands began to wander, dipping under the water and sliding against smooth skin until she squirmed. "Don't tease me.." He laughed and continued the attentions until she cried out softly and relaxed into his arms, so dazed she could barely speak. She still shivered slightly and bit her lip when he brushed a hand over her stomach, and when he let her know what he wanted she accepted without hesitation.

After the bath he dried her off carefully, adding to the tension with kisses. Murrue closed her eyes and sighed. "This is a good way to get what you want.."

"Who says I want anything? I might be just trying to relax you.."

She managed a smile. "That's the last thing I am right now.." As his kisses moved lower she bit her lip, curling fingers in his hair. "Especially...when you do that.."

"Feels good though, doesn't it?"

A breathless laugh. "Not...if my knees give way.."

"Don't worry, I've got you. Just let go.."

"But it's...not fair. What about you?"

He chuckled softly, the sound slightly muffled. "Never mind about me. Plenty of time for that.."

"You promise?" Her voice was faint now, barely above a whisper, and as he continued the kisses she finally stopped fighting them, letting go with a deep contented sigh. He grinned, moving to sit down and pull her onto his lap.

"Promise. You can do whatever you want now."

A few hours later they'd managed to move from the bathroom to the bedroom, he stretched out beside her with his head on her chest. His fiancee was almost asleep, dark eyes half-closed but she was smiling, her cheeks still flushed pink, and she was gently stroking his hair. "Will it still be like this when we're married?" she murmured.

"Why shouldn't it be? I can't imagine anything more fun.." She giggled sleepily and kissed the crown of his hair before snuggling down with a little sigh.

"Neither can I.."

Encouraged he kissed her lightly, touching his nose to hers. "I love you."

Her eyes fluttered open just a little, regarding him with drowsy affection. "I love you too.." Then she was asleep. As always he watched her for a while, thinking how beautiful she was, and how lucky _he_ was, before settling his head beside hers.

_She can have anything she wants. Anything at all, if it's in my power to give it to her. A bigger house, a bigger garden...anything. All I want in return is to share forever with her...and whoever else shows up along the way... _He'd never mentioned it to her, feeling it was best to just wait and see what happened, but a family, a _real_ family, with her...he couldn't think of anything he'd like more. And he felt sure that one day they'd have it.

He kissed her again, gently, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

_I'm glad I had that second chance..._

* * *

( fluffeh. and some smuts XD

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